Echoing what other people have already said:
1) It's already a little on the wordy side. I don't think you need as much
elaboration on some of your points. Just list the resources for the wordcraft
portion (grammar, punctuation, narrative voice, story arcs, etc.) and maybe a
brief sentence or two. Since you are writing a fanfiction guide, that should
be your emphasis.
2) It needs better organization. Some of the subsections could be moved, and
the entire thing needs to have some kind of logical progression between the
major secions.
3) The tone is a tad condescending. Yeah, some of those bad writing mistakes
grate on my nerves, too (and heck, I've committed a few of those "sins"
myself), but there's no need to put off your potential audience. Or, if you
are writing with a somewhat snarky attitude (maybe retitling the guide to
something like "So You Want to Write Fanfiction", making it clear that you are
being kind of an asshole), spice up the humor a bit, too, so that it's
entertaining as well.
I guess I'm getting cynical, but reading this through I don't know if the
people you're trying to reach are going to take your advice. Those who are
writing fanfiction to improve themselves will already come across these
guildlines of their own volition, whereas those who are doing it just to
fanwank are going to keep making the same mistake.
-"Dot"
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