Nugar wrote:
>
>
>
> Black and Blue Lagoon
>
>
% A lemon with Revy? Ohhh, that can be dangerous. Sort of like mating
with a pissed off porcupine... that shoots guns
>
>
>
> "Hey, you! Yeah, you, you bastard! You better start cowering
>properly or I'm gonna shoot you in the balls!" Revy snarled.
>
>
% Saw the dub at Otakon. I admit, I love her perpetual swearing.
Tarentino is probably taking notes.
> From his position on the rail of the captured freighter The Grace of
>God,
>
% I'm thinkng the ship names needs single quotes or something around them.
> He shrugged. "It looks like it was all there, but if it's not,
>there's not much we can do about it. Those crates are the only cargo
>aboard the whole ship." He paused, looking up at the dangling crates
>as the ship's crane lifted them. "It's strange, even given the cargo,
>its
>
% it's
>wasteful to make a trip under loaded.
>
% under-loaded (I think)
> Axes. Who in the hell tried to kill people with an axe?
>
% The 'cleaner' chick used a chain saw, which is even more unwieldy.
> Guns
>worked. They weren't new. They were a hell of a lot easier to use,
>and a lot more reliable than an axe. You pointed a gun at someone,
>you pulled the trigger, they died.
>
% Hmm. I am a touch surprised she's this derisive of them, at least if
she isn't vocalizing it (ie impressing Rock). After all,the Bangkok
whore was good with her knives, and Revy got obsessed about going out of
her way to killi the Yak who could slice bullets with a sword.
>
> The Exocet was doing
>
% going, I think
> At first the Black Lagoon hesitated, straining against the ropes
>holding it to the doomed freighter. But for piracy purposes, Dutch
>never used ropes stronger than he had to,
>
% Smart man.
>
> "Revy! Rock!" Dutch hollered into his radio, sparing an eye for his
>radar. Neither answered.
>
> "Dutch!" Benny called. "I think I got a line on that ship! It's Thai
> Navy!"
>
> "Shit!" Dutch cursed. "It must have been escorting the freighter!
>
>
% And they waited that long to intercede? Seems odd.
>Have you seen Revy or Rock?"
>
> "No, wasn't Revy on the bridge?" There was worry in his voice.
>
> "SHIT!" Dutch yelled.
>
> But he didn't turn around.
>
>
% Nope. He can come back later if they're alive. Better than sinking and
sharing their current fate.
>
> He didn't know what it was made of, some sort of plastic, or maybe
>just really strong styrofoam, but it didn't crumble when he grabbed
>it, and it didn't buckle when he kick-dragged Revy's unconscious body
>on top of it. It was barely wider than she was, shorter by a foot
>and a calf,
>
% half, although if he meant her leg, it is a neat descriptor.
> and it rocked like a bitch when he tried to turn her onto
>her side,
>
% Pretty much like Revy then
> but at some length he was able to get Revy into position
>
>
% In a lemon, that is a loaded phrase.
>long enough for her to puke the remaining water out.
>
> He glanced around in alarm at the fifteen or twenty surviving crew
>members, each doing their best to get their own makeshift life raft,
>
>
% liferaft is one word, I think
> Getting his unconscious friend flat on her back
>
% I see he is prepping her for the lemon section of the story. :)
>grouping together with the biggest bits of floating debris.
>
> His ever present neck tie
>
% necktie is one word as well, methinks
> served as a makeshift bandage to stanch
>
% staunch, isn't it?
> Strangely, Rock felt no fear, waiting patiently to see if death would
>overlook him again.
>
> "This job gets weirder every day," he said with a kind of bitter humor.
>
>
% Nah, sharks feasting on survivors in chummed waters is as old as time.
Not weird at all. Perfectly natural when compared to the lolicon
assassins, acid dropped drivers, and of course, terminator maids.
> Worse, even, she'd been out of the water the whole time, exposed to
>the direct sun, while everything but his head, arms, and shoulders was
>below the surface, and often underneath the board as he floated.
>Plus, he wore more clothes than she did.
>
% most strippers wear more than she does.
> There was a long pause, and finally the other man exploded into curses.
>
> "THE FUCKING PIRATES? YOU ASSHOLES THAT SANK OUR SHIP ARE STILL
>ALIVE?! I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU, BITCH!"
>
> "…shit," Rock said quietly.
>
>
% Rock needs to say he still has a gun, but is willing to let him live
since killing him would be a waste of bullets.
> Rock watched him sink, unable to see the regret and compassion in his
>own eyes.
>
> People kill with all sorts of eyes.
>
>
% Not that it makes the victim any less dead. :)
> Oddly, it was not the hardest thing in the world to do. There was
>nothing sexual about it,
>
% Unless you're into scat, it is a mood killer.
>
> The great thing about where they were at in the Philippines was that
>there were a lot of islands. This handy feature was outweighed by how
>little boat traffic there was, which was none, and the unfortunate
>fact that the ocean currents swirled around the islands and did not
>actually hit them.
>
>
% Heh. Nice passage.
> Breathe!
>
> Then the wind picked up, clouds blotted out the moon, and it started
>to rain like a motherfucker.
>
>
% Fresh water is more important right now.
>was worth, didn't know all this. His opinion of the tropical storm
>was less than complimentary, since the swells kept threatening to tip
>them all over, he was having a hard enough time breathing himself and
>was worried sick about Revy drowning in the rain and spray, and every
>now and then his skin prickled in a way that he just knew was
>lightening
>
% lightning
>hitting way too god damned close. Plus he was seasick as
>hell, but even the most determined retching couldn't bring up more
>than a bit of bile and water
>
% Food poisoning left me like that once. Not pleasent, no sir. Not at all
> Okay, he felt like shit.
>
% Better to feel like shit on land rather than open ocean.
> Rock had one himself, a little pen knife handy for cutting bits of
>line or shipping container seals, but he hadn't sharpened it in a
>month or better. Revy, on the other hand, usually carried around some
>sort of bigger pocket knife, one that only had a single blade.
>Mostly, she used it to clean her fingernails, and sometimes slice open
>a carton of cigarettes.
>
>
% Never to attack people, though, since that was what guns were for.
> The island was surprisingly large, and when he finally got out from
>under the trees on a rocky hill, he saw that it was dominated by a big
>central volcanic mountain he'd been seeing pieces of through the
>trees. Not the tallest mountain in the world, barely taller than any
>of the foothills of Mount Fuji, but with nice steel
>
% steep
>sides that would
>probably be hard to climb. They tended to be black and rocky, and
>probably would tear through his battered shoes if he climbed, to say
>nothing of his unprotected hands.
>
>
% Well, there was also Tom Hanks, but he was in as helpless a situation
they were. Besides, Rock thought he was overrated as an actor. Scholari
carried him in Bosom Buddies.
>
> The next day, he woke up with a grim expression.
>
> Today was the day he was going to get that fucking shark.
>
>
% Ah, nothing like man deciding he needs to kill what made him feel fear. :)
> Revy was sitting against a palm tree, watching him silently as he
> approached.
>
>
% Yeah, that was probably quite the sight.
> "Revy!" he gasped, dropping the shark's tail and running forward.
>
>
% Revy: Got a smoke?
> He laughed and rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, well, you should
>have seen the one that got away."
>
>
% Heh
> "Yeah?"
>
> "I think I pissed myself."
>
> Nodding, Rock glanced back at the shark, then at Revy. "Yeah, yeah,
>I think I did, too."
>
>
% Double, heh
> Rock's eyes widened as he watched her. Revy hadn't been wearing a
>bra, often didn't, in fact, though her breasts remained almost
>defiantly perky despite that tendency. A lot of her shirts had built
>in support, something he didn't know. And while he'd seen her nude a
>great deal over the past week, it was somehow different when she took
>her shirt off herself.
>
>
% Some sense of it being conscenual, yep.
>The thunder and rain hit roughly the same time, but the wind was
>blowing so hard the rain was horizontal, and mostly hit the side of
>the mountain. They reached the shelter provided by the cut in the
>mountain shortly after, looking around in the gloom. Lightening
>
>
% Lightning
> It wasn't that she didn't sound normal. She just didn't sound normal
>for lately.
>
>
% drop 'for'
> Her shaking eased. Maybe she was just cold and tired. He really
>wanted to kiss her, to make it all better.
>
> So he did, on her temple.
>
>
%That will either make her happy or him dead
> Revy gave him a cross eyed look, staring mostly at the surprising
>thing in her mouth. She sucked gently on it as he applied the flame,
>and was rewarded with a thing stream of harsh, but much missed, smoke.
>
> "I love you," she mumbled around the cigarette.
>
> He laughed. "That's just because I give you cigarettes."
>
>
% Yep. Pretty much it.
> But the middle aged chinese gentleman on the back picked up a
>battered looking bullhorn and yelled "Boss Chang sends greetings!" in
>heavily accented english.
>
> "Took 'em long enough," Revy spat. "I'm kicking Dutch in the balls
>when I get a chance."
>
> Rock just laughed nervously.
>
>
% Alas. To all good things, though I wonder if Revy would continue
letting him get some play, since he's at the least someone that can help
with the occasional itch.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> "Damn it, Dutch, did you have to take a fucking month to find us?"
>Revy raged, though she cut her tirade off abruptly when he pressed a
>cold Heineken into her hands. Then she was too busy gulping the brew
>to bitch.
>
>
% Heh. he probably just saved his balls.
> "I hope you enjoyed your tropical vacation," Dutch continued. "We've
>got another job."
>
> "Another job?" Revy asked incredulously. "Already? Dammit, Dutch,
>can't I at least get a shower and a decent meal?"
>
> "Beanie weenies in the galley, hose on the deck," he replied,
>deadpan.
>
%heh
> "But I don't expect you to rough it completely." He tapped
>a cardboard box, and two cigarettes leapt out like an invitation.
>
> Revy shook her head firmly. "Oh hell no, running out of cigarettes
>on that damned island was the worst thing that's ever happened to me.
>I don't ever want to go through that again."
>
> "If we start again, we might have to quit again," Rock admitted, as
>if it was a private terror.
>
> Dutch raised one eyebrow.
>
>
>
> "…GIVE!" they both cried at once, fighting for a smoke.
>
>
% Heh. True to their nature, they are
>
> Eh? Eh? Why don't you anti tobacco people stick THAT in your pipe
>and smoke it? ^_^ Now I'm gonna go have a cigar and a beer on my
>back porch and listen to the crickets.
>
>
>
%heh. Very nice work. enjoyed it immensly, and it's great to see BL
fics. Lemon scene was nicely done, built up credibly and believably.
Outstanding work.
DB Sommer
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