> "The Akatsuki are on the move. They have begun hunting and killing those
who
> possess the tailed demons within them. Their goal and reason for this is
yet
> to be
Clunky phrasing. Rather than 'yet to be', try 'not yet'.
> fully known, but there is one thing we can be certain of: the powers
> of the demons would be used against Konoha and our allies," Tsunade began
in
> earnest.
And exactly how can anyone "be certain of" this? If nobody knows what
Akatsuki plans to do with the demons, how can anyone claim to be "certain"
of any such thing?
> homes and places of work. While many of them quickly left the council
area,
> a few still strangled behind.
Straggled.
> "I would speak with you," Hiashi spoke cold, yet firmly. He hated waiting
> for any one, especially a woman.
Erm.
No.
You're ascribing personality traits to Hiashi which are inconsistent with
and inappropriate to his persona. There is no evidence, whatsoever,
ANYWHERE, of Hiashi being misogynistic. Cold, yes. Harsh, yes. A bit of an
asshole, yes. Misogynistic? No. That's Shikamaru and, to a lesser extent,
his pussywhipped father.
*snip* Saw the Hinata thing coming a mile away.
*snip some more*
Well, this looks...interesting. I'll have more commentary on further
chapters later.
================================
"Sheik Protein? He's a mean ol' ass, Cid."
~~*~~
The Eternal Lost Lurker
www.lurkerdrome.com
---
.-------Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List--------.
| Administrators - [EMAIL PROTECTED] |
| Unsubscribing - [EMAIL PROTECTED] |
| Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject |
`------------ FAQ URL coming soon.... -------------'
