If you use the default code, you are stuck with the default behavior.

But go on and implement the handlers yourself.  It is really pretty 
easy once you get the hang of it, and you have complete control over 
what happens and when, and how it looks. I just did this a few days 
ago.

There are good examples in the docs.  Below is one of my handlers as 
an example.
Tracy

  private function onDragOverProjContacts(event:DragEvent):void {
    if (event.dragSource.hasFormat("items")) {                        
      event.preventDefault();
      var dgDragInit:DataGrid = DataGrid(event.dragInitiator);
      if (dgDragInit.id == "dgProjUsers")  {     
        DragManager.showFeedback(DragManager.MOVE);
        DragManager.acceptDragDrop(DataGrid
(event.currentTarget));        
      }
      else if (dgDragInit.id == "dgSiteContacts")  {      //ADD from 
site contacts
        if (noDuplicate(event.dragSource))  {
          DragManager.showFeedback(DragManager.COPY);
          DragManager.acceptDragDrop(DataGrid(event.currentTarget));
        }
        else {
          DragManager.showFeedback(DragManager.NONE); 
        }      
      }
    } 
  }//onDragOverProjContacts 

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