Regarding superheroes...
After accidentally rescuing planet Earth
I was once offered the chance
To become a superhero.
Unfortunately all the best positions
Had gone.
This is what was left.
Liquid Refreshment Machine Repairman
(A lifesaver on a hot day)
Mosquito Man
(Keeps insects at bay)
Salting Icy Roads Man
(Saving skidding lorries and cars)
Confectionery Refreshment Unit Man
(Saving melting chocolate bars)
Tadpole man
(Rescuing frogs from logs)
Stick Insect Man
(rescuing stick insects from frogs)
Ten Pence Down The Back of the Sofa Man
(Where only the bravest superheroes go)
And, of course, Supergran.
(but I don't somehow think so.)
I could have been Captain Decisive
But I couldn't make up my mind
I could have been Captain King of the Hill
But I didn't feel so inclined
I could have been Captain Upholsterer
But I'd never have recovered
I could have been Captain Apathy
But I couldn't be bothered
