How to install a wireless security system:

Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used work
boots ... a really big pair. Put them outside your front
door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine. Put a dog
dish beside it ... a really big dish. Leave a note on your
front door that says something like this:

"Bubba, Big Mike and I have gone to get more ammunition -
back in 30 minutes. Don't disturb the pit bulls, they've
just been wormed."
 
 
 
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