Funny Quotes - Recent Quips from Late Night "These activist judges are at it again. The New Jersey Supreme Court says homosexuals actually have the same civil rights as straight people, which means they can marry. See, this is the difference between Democrats and Republicans. Democrats want gays to get married. Republicans know congressmen need to be able to play the field." --Bill Maher
"Insiders are now saying that Hillary Clinton has had millions and millions of plastic surgery. They say she's so good-looking that actually, earlier today, her husband hit on her." --David Letterman "Officials said Tuesday that Iraqis have agreed to develop a timetable for progress in stabilizing Iraq. So there you have it. There's now a timetable for establishing a timetable. Welcome home, boys!." --Amy Poehler "According to the Census Bureau, earlier this month, the country's population hit 300 million. And Al Gore is blaming it on 'global humping.'" --David Letterman "Many say that London has replaced New York City as the world's undisputed financial capital. Hear that terrorists? The world's undisputed financial capital is London." --Seth Meyers "President Bush has authorized the building of a 700-mile fence. A 700-mile fence they're going to build between the United States and Mexico. And, he says ... he knows where we can get some cheap labor to build it. ... That's a pretty long fence. I'm thinking to myself, 'I just hope there's a way Halliburton can make some money off of this deal. It would be nice to throw something their way for a change." --David Letterman http://www.jokes-joke.com/ http://funny-quotes.blogspot.com/ http://groups.yahoo.com/group/funny-jokes/ http://www.freefind.com/find.html?id=7685396 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/funnyquotes/ http://funny-jokes.blogspot.com/ http://quotations.home.worldnet.att.net/ http://www.quotescentral.com/index.php
