> In the early 1800's this old Jewish merchant had to go to Omaha on
> business. He presented himself to the stagecoach office and asked,
> "How much a ticket to Omaha?"
>
> The clerk responded, "$5.00."
>
> "Too much!" he complained. "Anyway, I ain't got $5.00; I only got
> $2.00, so there you go!"
>
> "Well you ain't goin ta Omaha for $2.00, so forget it!" said the
> clerk.
>
> "Listen, I gotta get to Omaha; I got very important business there.
> Please! Maybe you could do something for me?"
>
> "I'll tell you what I can do." said the clerk. "We need somebody to
> ride shotgun. Gimme the $2.00 and you could ride shotgun."
>
> "What are you sayin' ride shotgun? I need to ride on the stagecoach
> to Omaha!" said the old man.
>
> "No, No! You don't understand!" said the clerk. "You ride up on the
> top with the driver. You hold this rifle and if you see any Indians,
> you shoot 'em."
>
> "What you talkin' about shooting Indians? I ain't never shot no
> Indians before." replied the merchant.
>
> "Listen to me! It's easy. You see an Indian; you point the gun at
> him and pull this trigger. Just give me the $2.00 and get up there
> with the driver." demanded the clerk.
>
> So the old merchant climbed up with the driver and off they rode
> into the prairie. About 3 hours into the trip, the driver asked, "Do
> ya see any Indians?"
>
> "Yup, I see one." said the old Jewish merchant.
>
> "How far away is he?" asked the driver.
>
> "How could I know?" asked the old guy.
>
> "Well how big does he look?" asked the driver.
>
> The old Jewish guy put his hand in front of the driver's face and
> held his thumb and forefinger about a half inch apart, and said, "He
> looks this big; should I shoot him?"
>
> "Not yet," said the driver. "You'll never hit him; he's too far
> away. Wait 'til he gets closer."
>
> Another couple of hours passed and once again the driver asked, "Do
> ya still see the Indians?"
>
> "Yup, I still see him."
>
> "How far away is he now?" asked the driver.
>
> Again the old Jewish guy put his hand in front of the driver's face
> and this time held his thumb and forefinger about an inch apart, and
> said, "He looks this big; should I shoot him yet?"
>
> "Not yet," said the driver. "He's still too far away. Wait until he
> gets closer. I'll tell you when to shoot him."
>
> Well this same situation continued every few hours for several days.
> Each time, the old Jewish merchant would hold his fingers a little
> further apart to indicate how big the Indian looked, and each time
> he'd ask, "Should I shoot him?' and each time, the driver would
> say, "Not yet, I'll tell you when."
>
> On the third day of their journey through the prairie on their way
> to Omaha, when asked if he still saw the Indian, the old guy
> demonstrated the size of the Indian by spreading his arms as far as
> he could from top to bottom, indicating that the Indian now looked
> very big.
>
> The driver said, "Okay, now he's close enough. Now you can shoot him!"
>
> The old man hesitated and then said, "Nah... I couldn't
> shoot him."
>
> "Whadya mean you can't shoot him? Why not?" demanded the driver.
>
> The old Jewish guy put his hand in front of the driver's face and
> held his thumb and forefinger about a half inch apart, and said, "How
> could I shoot him?... I've known him since he was this big!"
I'm not a bitch.....I've just been in a bad mood the past 40 years.....
---------------------------------
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