A computer program walks into a bar; the bartender shouts: "Hey! Get out! Your 
kind ain't welcome in here!"
The program looks a bit startled and asks "what do you mean by my kind"?
"You know," the bartender says, "PIRATE software."
"But I'm not pirate software!" protests the program.
"Yeah? Well then, what's that thing you've got covering your eye?" asks the 
bartender.
"That's just my latest patch!" says the program.
"Well, okay then, what about that peg leg thing you've got going on?"
"Obviously I'm a crippled version," sighs the program.
"You can't fool me," says the bartender, "what about that bird sitting on your 
shoulder?"
"SQUAAAWK! Powers of eight!" shrieks the bird.
"Oh don't worry about that," says the program, "that's just my parrotty bit ."

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