can someone get me off this list....
----- Original Message -----
From: "S. Lerner" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>;
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Thursday, November 16, 2000 4:22 AM
Subject: FW Decision!
> >It has now been proven that laughter is good for the heart....
>
> >
> > Her Majesty's Foreign and Commonwealth Office has just released the
> >following:
> >
> > NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
> >
> > To the citizens of the United States of America,
> >
> > In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to
> >govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
> >independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
> >will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other
> >territories: except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime
minister
> >(The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now
been
> >unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a
minister
> >for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the
Senate
> >will be disbanded. A Questionnaire will be circulated next year to
> >determine whether any of you noticed.
> >
> > To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
> >rules are introduced with immediate effect:
> >
> > 1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.
Then
> >look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at
> >just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should
raise
> >your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the
same
> >twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and
"you
> >know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up
> >"interspersed".
> > 2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know
on
> >your behalf.
> > 3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents.
It
> >really isn't that hard.
> > 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as
the
> >good guys.
> > 5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The
> >Queen", but only after fully carrying out Task One.We do not want
you
> >to get confused and give up half way through.
> > 6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind
of
> >football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good
> >game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your
> >borders
> > may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no
> >longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.
> >Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a
difficult
> >game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby
> >(which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping
for
> >a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like
> >nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side
by
> >2005.
> > 7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if
> >they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there
is
> >a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians
> > have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "shit".
> > 8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new
> >national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive
Day".
> > 9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your
> >own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
> > 10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
> >
> >
> > Thank you for your cooperation.
> >
> >
> >
> > For and on behalf of Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
> >
> >
> >
> >George Francis,
> >Department of Environment and Resource Studies,
> >University of Waterloo,
> >Ontario, Canada, N2L 3G1
> >(519) 885-1211, Extension 3061
> >
>
>
>
>
