Despite the fact that most FWers are probably indifferent about the Euro
(as I almost am myself), some might enjoy the writing style one of our
journalists -- one of the few remaining true practitioners of the English
Essay. I'll top and tail an article in today's Daily Telegraph:

<<<<
I BET YOU �10 WE DON'T JOIN THE SINGLE CURRENCY
Boris Johnson

It's been barely a day since the Euro has existed in its tangible form, and
already the sight of our European friends is enough to make a man weak with
jealousy. They've got it already, the lucky blighters: they've got the
lovely luscious Euro, all over the Continent, jetting from the ATM machines
in joyous golden arcs.

They already have the banknotes, 15 billion of them, warm and crisp as
freshly baked bread, complete with their designs of culverts, architraves
and other features on non-existent buildings.

According to the EU Commission, the European consumer is in the kind of
rapture that possesed Danae, when Zeus descended on her in a shower of
golden coins. It's here! It's real! Freude, schoner Gotterfunken Tochter
aus Elysium.*

In the depths of winter, in this bleak New Year, when the mercury sinks,
when the frost rimes the roads as thick as snow, when the war on terror
seems still unwon, a coin is born to the toiling peoples, and his name is
Euro!

When you look at the tears of happiness running down the cheeks of Romano
Prodi, the EC President, when you behold Wim Duisenberg, Eurobank
President, his leathery Dutch face all scrunched with pleasure, do you not
feel a stab of envy? Do you not have the same sense of exclusion you
remember from your childhood, when someone else got a bicycle for
Christmas? Do you wish you could scrap the measly old pound and join in the
fun? Do you?

If you do, one man who is desperate to hear from you is Tony Blair. This is
the moment for which Blair has been waiting, the psychological turning
point, the pivot of fate.

. . . .

Give us a referendum, Blair, you pasty-faced coward. And in the meantime I
will wager any reader �10 that Britain will not join the Euro in the next
five years. Or the next 10 years, come to that.
>>>>

*Translation not supplied, and I can't help you either.

(Perhaps this sort of serious-cum-humorous writing is an acquired taste. I
don't know how this will go down with non-English FWers. A recent survey of
humour revealed that English people simply don't understand the favourite
Canadian jokes, Australians don't understand English ones, and nobody
understands German or Danish or Swiss jokes. As for the Americans, what can
I say? I think their humour disappeared, along with Mort Sahl, about 30
years ago. [Or perhaps E. B. White -- his "Death of a pig" is, to my mind,
the most perfect essay ever written.] Or, perhaps American humour is still
around and they elect jokes instead of telling them. Perhaps the election
of Bush as president of the most powerful nation in the whole world was
really a subtle joke to show what a farce modern politics really is.)  

Keith Hudson 
 
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�Writers used to write because they had something to say; now they write in
order to discover if they have something to say.� John D. Barrow
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Keith Hudson, Bath, England;  e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
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