>From the San Francisco Daily Listener's StumbleOver page Today, Mr. Dark (no first name) and Mrs. Dark (no first name) were wed in a mysterious ceremony in the First Church of Stereophonix here on Telegraph Hill. Guests were each issued with a blindfold, a joy stick, and a six foot paddle. Guests were instructed to wait until the DarkBeeper was 80% of the way in their right ear before employing the six foot paddle. Unfortunately, a number of guests grew excited and a massive paddle brawl nearly broke out. Mendelsohn's Processional was used as is traditional, but occasional pops signaled when guests were supposed to jump. If the guest failed to jump properly, they were forced to begin once more at the back of the church. As the last chords faded, the voice of the officiant a Professor Audry O Games began delivering the traditional message of unity and joyous celebrations. Guests were encouraged to center the celebrant's voice and to press the button on top of their joysticks repeatedly. If the voice came too close to a guest, they were forced to begin, once more, at the back of the church. At the height of the festivities, Mr Dark and Mrs. Dark exchanged vows by hurling these from opposite sides of the church at each other's audio signature. Reports say that MRS. Dark's hear and obey vows were a perfect hit, while Mr. Dark's love and cherish vows missed by a matter of only tenths of a second. Reportedly, the groom muttered something about bloody reaction tests and stomped off. The celebrant Professor Audry O Games pronounced the Darks man and machine, and the reception began. However, as of yet, no one in the wedding party has managed to pass either the flash photographer nor the whirling fan blades in front of the door to the reception hall.
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