Good grief no! sugar? ---- you philistine!

First, grind beans while kettle boils. Doing this by hand insures that the protein on the side of the beans isn't denatured (and actually with my grinder it only takes as long as it takes the kettle to boil). Then, after the water has boiled leave it, so it's under 97 degrees, that prevents the beans from getting bitter.

Then stick in cafatier and leave for at least 5 minutes, ---- preferably 7-10 (though unlike with tea it doesn't matter as much).

Then serve! with nothing in it, ---- though a decent tot of brandy, or good quality rum on the side to sip and use the coffee as a chaser doesn't go down too badly of an evening.

Oh, and make certain it is served in a mug made from alabasta mined on the banks of the nile and calved 2000 years ago with the chalm of Cafenepsut, ---- the ancient Egyptian goddess of fine coffee! this prevents the demonic forces of Starbux and his pestilencial queen Costa the overpriced from casting a spell of utter badness upon your coffee!

Oh, and it's better to drink it in a closed room sinse if anyone interupts you while drinking coffee you'll need to sacrifice them with an especially sharpened saucer of death, ---- and by the time you've finished hacking away at their kneck the coffee is usually cold! Lol!

The bit about the temperature and the rum is true though, ---- the rest, ---- well you can work it out for yourself.

Beware the grue!


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