It was hilarious, Helen. It takes the edge off a disgusting season. Thanks. A. Leon Polhill, Gator "I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know." - Mark Twain
________________________________ From: Helen Huntley <[email protected]> To: [email protected] Sent: Tue, January 4, 2011 2:37:52 PM Subject: Re: [gatortalk] Very funny commentary on the Outback Bowl A friend emailed it to me. I got a big laugh out of it and thought some of you might too. One of my favorite lines: Brantley’s signature is a 3 and out, capped off with a 2 yard completion on 3rd and 10. On Tue, Jan 4, 2011 at 2:07 PM, Oliver Barry <[email protected]> wrote: Helen, >I don’t know where you found this, but it’s great! > > >Oliver Barry CRS,GRI >Real Estate Broker >Bob Parks Realty >1517 Hunt Club Blvd >GallatinTN 37066 >Phone: 615-826-4040 >Fax: 615-822-2027 >Mobile: 615-972-4239 > > > ________________________________ >From:[email protected] [mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf >Of >Helen Huntley >Sent: Tuesday, January 04, 2011 11:30 AM >To: gatortalk >Subject: [gatortalk] Very funny commentary on the Outback Bowl > > > > >Uncensored Play-by-Play Of The 2011 Outback Bowl >Share Article >Jan 3rd, 2011 >By William Wallace >Author's Twitter @WillWallaceSEC >This will be the first game to bet in 2011. I like the Gators -7, but I’m all >in on one of these coaches dying during the game. It’s an exotic. >Even before the game starts, Tirico and Gruden twice say Paterno is “Sharp as >ever.” This is the ageist version of “He’s very well spoken”. >14:58 1st >Florida comes out in their all-white road uniforms. Penn State comes out with >their all-white football team. >The media is still confused as to why Kansas City Chiefs Offensive Coordinator >Charlie Weis is leaving the NFL to take the same position at the college >level. >I’m being told the hiring went something like this: >Will Muschamp: “I know this is a long shot, I mean you are getting ready for >the NFL playoffs and we’re getting ready for the Outback Bowl, so…. >Charlie Weis: “Let me stop you right there. Did you say Outback Bowl? >That’s >the place with the Bloomin’ Onion right? I’m your man. Outback Bowl! That >sounds delicious.” >Muschamp: “Boom!” >14:01 1st >John Brantley continues his quest to be the worst player in the history of >college football with a terrible interception on his first pass attempts of >the >game. In his defense, all his wide receivers apparently are also the QBs he’s >competing with. If they loaf a route, it just means more snaps behind center >for them. >11:24 1st >Perfect weather in Tampa today. 72 and cloudless. Sunburn likely will be >factor for fair skinned Penn State late in the game. >Penn State capitalizes on the Brantley interception with a 6 yard TD Pass, >Matthew McGloin to Derek Moye. >9:08 1st Penn State 7 Florida 0 >Random ABC Shots of Joe Pa aimlessly roaming the sidelines: 4 >7:45 1st >Florida goes 3 and out, which is a vast improvement from the last drive. >Joe Pa says the pirate ship in Tampa’s stadium reminds him of the boat he took >to “The New World.” >6:25 1st >Florida Safety Ahmad Black picks off McGloin and returns it all the way to the >Penn State 15. If there is anyone who can turn such a great opportunity into >zero points it’s Steve Addazio and this Florida offense. >Random ABC Shots of Joe Pa aimlessly roaming the sidelines: 7 >5:12 1st >Never failing to disappoint, Florida’s 3rd string QB Trey Burton fumbles into >the endzone. Urban pulls into the lead in the death pool. Easy money. >2:20 1st >Florida’s offensive coordinator Steve Addazio was recently named the new head >coach at Temple. After the season he had I’m shocked he’s getting that >opportunity. When I heard Addazio was being considered for the Temple job I >assumed it meant he was going to be a janitor at a synagogue. >Random ABC Shots of Joe Pa aimlessly roaming the sidelines: 10 >1:12 1st >Florida does what it does best, the old Mike Pouncey shotgun snap misfire for >an >18 yard loss. With erratic throws like that Pouncey might work himself into >Florida’s QB rotation. >PennState 7 Florida 0 End of the 1st >How in the hell does ABC not have a microphone on Joe Pa? I would love to >hear >what he’s yelling at Assistant coach Mike McQueary. That poor redheaded >bastard >is taking a verbal beating from the old man. >13:25 2nd >Matt McGloin throws his 2nd interception of the game. It says he only threw 4 >picks all season? He might reach that mark before the half. >Florida starts the drive at Penn State’s 15. Don’t be shocked if Florida >punts >from inside the redzone. >Omarius Hines takes a reverse 16 yards for a Touchdown. Hey, Addazio, give >this >guy the ball more. He’s built like a Navy Seal. >12:48 Penn State 7 Florida 7 >ABC shows an interview of Paterno saying he hopes to come back next season. >Tirico comes back and says, “Paterno is sharp as ever. He’s telling stories >like he did 5-8 years ago.” Is that even a compliment? >10:12 2nd >Freshman DT Sharrif Floyd blows through the line and destroys Penn State RB >Silas Rudd for a 2 yard loss. Gruden goes on to call him Sharrif Brown 3 >times. Gruden often mistakenly calls players by their first name and their >skin >color. He also called Penn State QB Matt McGloin, Matt Insanely-Pale. >Random ABC Shots of Joe Pa aimlessly roaming the sidelines: 13 >10:03 2nd >Citrus Bowl Score update: Alabama is up on Michigan State 21-0 halfway >through >the 2nd Qtr. In a related story, Michigan State’s Mark Dantonio is the new >leader in the Death Pool. Sadly, I wouldn’t win money in that scenario. >6:48 2nd >Florida’s Ahmad Black is a stud. He blasted Justin Brown, breaking up a sure >thing 1st down. He came up with a blood pouring out of his mouth. Florida >is >already without starting CB’s Janoris Jenkins and Jeremy Brown. If Black is >out >Florida is getting thin in the secondary. I recommend moving Deonte Thompson >over to defense in a pinch. They say DB are receivers who can’t catch. >Thompson will be a natural. >Florida finally executes their best offensive play, the punt block for a TD. >The Gators have their first lead of the day. >5:48 Florida 14 Penn State 7 >Penn State is picking on the depleted Florida secondary. McGloin completes a >44 >yard bomb to Derek Moye, and punch it in for a TD a play later. >Despite a pair of subpar offensive performances, we have a shootout brewing. >4:09 2nd Penn State 14 Florida 14 >Random ABC Shots of Joe Pa aimlessly roaming the sidelines: 13 >2:48 2nd >Tim Tebow’s signature play was a QB run on 3rd and short. Brantley’s >signature >is a 3 and out, capped off with a 2 yard completion on 3rd and 10. >Meyer moves back in the Death Pool lead after Chas Henry’s 14 yard punt. >Meyer’s look to Henry reads, “Honestly, Chas, do you want my heart explode?” >After watching Joe Pa verbally abuse that Red Headed assistant coach, Penn >State >kicks a FG and takes back the lead. >:45 Penn State 17 Florida 14 >Brantley rolls into a ball and takes a sack before half. >Half Penn State 17 Florida 14 >My biggest regret of 2011 is missing Paterno’s interview with Suzy Kolber at >the >half. >Random ABC Shots of Joe Pa aimlessly roaming the sidelines: 24. He’s having a >huge 3rd Qtr. >10:48 3rd >Jordan Reed is getting all plays on this drive and the Gators are marching >down >the field. Yet, after a penalty, the Gators face 3rd & 9, so Addazio brings >in >Brantley. It’s a tough spot for Brantley, who throws a quick incompletion. >Even it if had been completed Hines would have been 7 yards short of the 1st >down. This is hard to watch. >Punter Chas Henry nails a 30 yard FG. Florida ties it up. >9:09 Penn State 17 Florida 17 >Florida Frankie Hammonds bobbles Alex Butterworth’s punt, causing Tirico to >quip, “Hammonds gets butterfingers on Butterworth’s punt.” Gruden simply >responds, “Fag.” >6:47 3rd >Florida Punter Chas Henry goes rogue and apparently calls his own fake punt. >Urban’s children corner Henry, saying, “So, you just want us to grow up >without >our father? Is that your plan, Chas?” >4:50 3rd >Penn State runs a reverse to speedy Devon Smith for 19 yards. This guy is SEC >fast. Hey, Joe Pa, give that guy the ball! >Matt McGloin runs it in for a TD. He’s already showing signs of 3rd degree >sunburn on his face and neck. >4:39 3rd Penn State 24 Florida 17 >Florida’s going with Jordan Reed on 1st and 2nd down and Brantley on 3rd and >long. They are Lindsey Lohan screwed up. >Chas Henry tries to smooth things over with the Meyer family by drilling a 47 >yard FG. >2:42 3rd Penn State 24 Florida 20 >I haven’t seen Paterno roaming the sideline in a while. He must be napping. >:59 3rd >McGloin is picked off for the 3rd time today. His next will equal his regular >season total. >Joe Pa sighting. He’s laying into that giant red headed coach, the poor >bastard. They’re people, just like you and me, Joe! >End of the 3rd Penn State 24 Florida 20 >Florida is quickly faced with a 4th and 2 from their own 17. 2nd string QB >Jordan Reed converts on a 3 yard pass to 3rd string QB Trey Burton. >Florida capitalizes on a questionable pass interference call and Mike >Gillislee >punches it in from the 1 yard line. Florida takes the lead back. >The sunburn factor is catching up with Penn State. >13:02 4th Florida 27 Penn State 24 >Florida has the lead, but Meyer still is in the lead of the Death Pool. Blood >starts trickling out of his ear after an obvious Penn State fumble isn’t >reviewed. I’m browsing real estate on the North Shore of Oahu online. >Random ABC Shots of Joe Pa aimlessly roaming the sidelines: 32. >Jordan Reed has moments where he looks like Cam Newton. He has more moments >where he looks like John Brantley. >Reed and Omarius Hines lead Florida all the way down to the 2 yard line, but >they only come away with a FG. The drive burned a lot of clock, but Penn >State >is still a TD away from the lead. Big stop for the Nittnay Lions. >7:32 4th Florida 30 Penn State 24 >It’s a race to the grave for these coaches. Meyer is looking terrible. He is >coaching hard, but this Florida team is very average and it’s killing him. >(Nobody saw that coming, right?) On the other sideline it’s getting warmer >and >Joe Pa is getting cranky. He’s ready to get back to the Happy Valley. ABC is >frequently showing the two in split-screen, hoping to catch the kill shot. >That’s ABC’s phrase, not mine. I find it repulsive. >Give Joe Pa credit, he looks money in his cashmere polo sweater. No chance I >look that cool when I’m 96. >3:14 4th >Florida burns more clock, but Penn State is getting the ball back with a >chance >to win the game. >Chas Henry totally redeems himself with a 59 yard punt. McGloin will have to >go >79 yards with no timeouts if he wants to win this game. >1:48 4th >Evan Royster is fresh. He busts off a run of 23 yards and then goes for 7 >more, >down to Florida’s 25. Momentum is with the Nittnay Lions. >Momentum can be a funny thing. Ahmad Black intercepts Matt McGloin and >returns >it 80 yards for a TD. This game is over. Ahmad Black was a monster today. >McGloin threw 4 interceptions in the regular season and 4 today. I could >make >an SEC speed joke here, but Penn State has dominated the SEC in the past. >They >don’t deserve that. >:55 Florida 37 Penn State 24 >Random ABC Shots of Joe Pa aimlessly roaming the sidelines: 43. >:14 4th >Moses Jenkins steps in front of a Matt McGloin pass giving the Gators 5 >interceptions on the day. A fitting end. Speed Kills. >Final Score Florida 37 Penn State 24 >If you had a bet on Florida winning you’re already up in 2011. If you are >like >me than you went all in on the exotic bet of a coach dying during the Outback >Bowl. The future doesn’t look bright for us. >See y’all at the BCS Championship Game > > > > > >-- >Helen Huntley >(727) 823-3801 >www.helenhuntley.com >-- >GATORS: ONE VOICE ON SATURDAY - NO VOICE ON SUNDAY! >1996 National Football Champions | 2006 National Basketball Champions >2006 National Football Champions | 2007 National Basketball Champions >2008 National Football Champions | >Three Heisman Trophy winners: Steve Spurrier (1966), Danny Wuerffel (1996), >Tim Tebow (2007) - Visit our website at www.gatornet.us-- >GATORS: ONE VOICE ON SATURDAY - NO VOICE ON SUNDAY! >1996 National Football Champions | 2006 National Basketball Champions >2006 National Football Champions | 2007 National Basketball Champions >2008 National Football Champions | >Three Heisman Trophy winners: Steve Spurrier (1966), Danny Wuerffel (1996), >Tim Tebow (2007) - Visit our website at www.gatornet.us -- Helen Huntley (727) 823-3801www.helenhuntley.com -- GATORS: ONE VOICE ON SATURDAY - NO VOICE ON SUNDAY! 1996 National Football Champions | 2006 National Basketball Champions 2006 National Football Champions | 2007 National Basketball Champions 2008 National Football Champions | Three Heisman Trophy winners: Steve Spurrier (1966), Danny Wuerffel (1996), Tim Tebow (2007) - Visit our website at www.gatornet.us -- GATORS: ONE VOICE ON SATURDAY - NO VOICE ON SUNDAY! 1996 National Football Champions | 2006 National Basketball Champions 2006 National Football Champions | 2007 National Basketball Champions 2008 National Football Champions | Three Heisman Trophy winners: Steve Spurrier (1966), Danny Wuerffel (1996), Tim Tebow (2007) - Visit our website at www.gatornet.us
