That was just an awesome read! Thanks.
On 1/5/11, Arthur Polhill <[email protected]> wrote: > I think JoePa's attacks on the big read-headed step-coach was priceless. > A. Leon Polhill, Gator > "I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. > I said I didn't know." - Mark Twain > > > > > ________________________________ > From: Jay Cicone <[email protected]> > To: [email protected] > Sent: Tue, January 4, 2011 2:43:42 PM > Subject: RE: [gatortalk] Very funny commentary on the Outback Bowl > > > OUCH! I liked Meyer kids asking Henry if he wanted them to grow up without > their > father. DOH! .. and Gruden’s comment was priceless. > > From:[email protected] [mailto:[email protected]] On > Behalf Of > Helen Huntley > Sent: Tuesday, January 04, 2011 2:38 PM > To: [email protected] > Subject: Re: [gatortalk] Very funny commentary on the Outback Bowl > > A friend emailed it to me. > I got a big laugh out of it and thought some of you might too. > One of my favorite lines: > > Brantley’s signature is a 3 and out, capped off with a 2 yard completion on > 3rd and 10. > On Tue, Jan 4, 2011 at 2:07 PM, Oliver Barry <[email protected]> wrote: > Helen, > I don’t know where you found this, but it’s great! > > > Oliver Barry CRS,GRI > Real Estate Broker > Bob Parks Realty > 1517 Hunt Club Blvd > Gallatin TN 37066 > Phone: 615-826-4040 > Fax: 615-822-2027 > Mobile: 615-972-4239 > > > > ________________________________ > > From:[email protected] [mailto:[email protected]] On > Behalf Of > Helen Huntley > Sent: Tuesday, January 04, 2011 11:30 AM > To: gatortalk > Subject: [gatortalk] Very funny commentary on the Outback Bowl > > > > > Uncensored Play-by-Play Of The 2011 Outback Bowl > Share Article > Jan 3rd, 2011 > By William Wallace > Author's Twitter @WillWallaceSEC > This will be the first game to bet in 2011. I like the Gators -7, but I’m > all > in on one of these coaches dying during the game. It’s an exotic. > Even before the game starts, Tirico and Gruden twice say Paterno is “Sharp > as > ever.” This is the ageist version of “He’s very well spoken”. > 14:58 1st > Florida comes out in their all-white road uniforms. Penn State comes out > with > their all-white football team. > The media is still confused as to why Kansas City Chiefs Offensive > Coordinator > Charlie Weis is leaving the NFL to take the same position at the college > level. > I’m being told the hiring went something like this: > Will Muschamp: “I know this is a long shot, I mean you are getting ready > for > the NFL playoffs and we’re getting ready for the Outback Bowl, so…. > Charlie Weis: “Let me stop you right there. Did you say Outback Bowl? > That’s > the place with the Bloomin’ Onion right? I’m your man. Outback Bowl! That > sounds delicious.” > Muschamp: “Boom!” > 14:01 1st > John Brantley continues his quest to be the worst player in the history of > college football with a terrible interception on his first pass attempts of > the > game. In his defense, all his wide receivers apparently are also the QBs > he’s > competing with. If they loaf a route, it just means more snaps behind > center > for them. > 11:24 1st > Perfect weather in Tampa today. 72 and cloudless. Sunburn likely will be > factor for fair skinned Penn State late in the game. > Penn State capitalizes on the Brantley interception with a 6 yard TD Pass, > Matthew McGloin to Derek Moye. > 9:08 1st Penn State 7 Florida 0 > Random ABC Shots of Joe Pa aimlessly roaming the sidelines: 4 > 7:45 1st > Florida goes 3 and out, which is a vast improvement from the last drive. > Joe Pa says the pirate ship in Tampa’s stadium reminds him of the boat he > took > to “The New World.” > 6:25 1st > Florida Safety Ahmad Black picks off McGloin and returns it all the way to > the > Penn State 15. If there is anyone who can turn such a great opportunity > into > zero points it’s Steve Addazio and this Florida offense. > Random ABC Shots of Joe Pa aimlessly roaming the sidelines: 7 > 5:12 1st > Never failing to disappoint, Florida’s 3rd string QB Trey Burton fumbles > into > the endzone. Urban pulls into the lead in the death pool. Easy money. > 2:20 1st > Florida’s offensive coordinator Steve Addazio was recently named the new > head > coach at Temple. After the season he had I’m shocked he’s getting that > opportunity. When I heard Addazio was being considered for the Temple job I > assumed it meant he was going to be a janitor at a synagogue. > Random ABC Shots of Joe Pa aimlessly roaming the sidelines: 10 > 1:12 1st > Florida does what it does best, the old Mike Pouncey shotgun snap misfire > for an > 18 yard loss. With erratic throws like that Pouncey might work himself > into > Florida’s QB rotation. > Penn State 7 Florida 0 End of the 1st > How in the hell does ABC not have a microphone on Joe Pa? I would love to > hear > what he’s yelling at Assistant coach Mike McQueary. That poor redheaded > bastard > is taking a verbal beating from the old man. > 13:25 2nd > Matt McGloin throws his 2nd interception of the game. It says he only threw > 4 > picks all season? He might reach that mark before the half. > Florida starts the drive at Penn State’s 15. Don’t be shocked if Florida > punts > from inside the redzone. > Omarius Hines takes a reverse 16 yards for a Touchdown. Hey, Addazio, give > this > guy the ball more. He’s built like a Navy Seal. > 12:48 Penn State 7 Florida 7 > ABC shows an interview of Paterno saying he hopes to come back next season. > Tirico comes back and says, “Paterno is sharp as ever. He’s telling stories > like he did 5-8 years ago.” Is that even a compliment? > 10:12 2nd > Freshman DT Sharrif Floyd blows through the line and destroys Penn State RB > Silas Rudd for a 2 yard loss. Gruden goes on to call him Sharrif Brown 3 > times. Gruden often mistakenly calls players by their first name and their > skin > color. He also called Penn State QB Matt McGloin, Matt Insanely-Pale. > Random ABC Shots of Joe Pa aimlessly roaming the sidelines: 13 > 10:03 2nd > Citrus Bowl Score update: Alabama is up on Michigan State 21-0 halfway > through > the 2nd Qtr. In a related story, Michigan State’s Mark Dantonio is the new > leader in the Death Pool. Sadly, I wouldn’t win money in that scenario. > 6:48 2nd > Florida’s Ahmad Black is a stud. He blasted Justin Brown, breaking up a > sure > thing 1st down. He came up with a blood pouring out of his mouth. Florida > is > already without starting CB’s Janoris Jenkins and Jeremy Brown. If Black is > out > Florida is getting thin in the secondary. I recommend moving Deonte > Thompson > over to defense in a pinch. They say DB are receivers who can’t catch. > Thompson will be a natural. > Florida finally executes their best offensive play, the punt block for a > TD. > The Gators have their first lead of the day. > 5:48 Florida 14 Penn State 7 > Penn State is picking on the depleted Florida secondary. McGloin completes > a 44 > yard bomb to Derek Moye, and punch it in for a TD a play later. > Despite a pair of subpar offensive performances, we have a shootout brewing. > 4:09 2nd Penn State 14 Florida 14 > Random ABC Shots of Joe Pa aimlessly roaming the sidelines: 13 > 2:48 2nd > Tim Tebow’s signature play was a QB run on 3rd and short. Brantley’s > signature > is a 3 and out, capped off with a 2 yard completion on 3rd and 10. > Meyer moves back in the Death Pool lead after Chas Henry’s 14 yard punt. > Meyer’s look to Henry reads, “Honestly, Chas, do you want my heart explode?” > After watching Joe Pa verbally abuse that Red Headed assistant coach, Penn > State > kicks a FG and takes back the lead. > :45 Penn State 17 Florida 14 > Brantley rolls into a ball and takes a sack before half. > Half Penn State 17 Florida 14 > My biggest regret of 2011 is missing Paterno’s interview with Suzy Kolber at > the > half. > Random ABC Shots of Joe Pa aimlessly roaming the sidelines: 24. He’s having > a > huge 3rd Qtr. > 10:48 3rd > Jordan Reed is getting all plays on this drive and the Gators are marching > down > the field. Yet, after a penalty, the Gators face 3rd & 9, so Addazio brings > in > Brantley. It’s a tough spot for Brantley, who throws a quick incompletion. > Even it if had been completed Hines would have been 7 yards short of the 1st > down. This is hard to watch. > Punter Chas Henry nails a 30 yard FG. Florida ties it up. > 9:09 Penn State 17 Florida 17 > Florida Frankie Hammonds bobbles Alex Butterworth’s punt, causing Tirico to > quip, “Hammonds gets butterfingers on Butterworth’s punt.” Gruden simply > responds, “Fag.” > 6:47 3rd > Florida Punter Chas Henry goes rogue and apparently calls his own fake > punt. > Urban’s children corner Henry, saying, “So, you just want us to grow up > without > our father? Is that your plan, Chas?” > 4:50 3rd > Penn State runs a reverse to speedy Devon Smith for 19 yards. This guy is > SEC > fast. Hey, Joe Pa, give that guy the ball! > Matt McGloin runs it in for a TD. He’s already showing signs of 3rd degree > sunburn on his face and neck. > 4:39 3rd Penn State 24 Florida 17 > Florida’s going with Jordan Reed on 1st and 2nd down and Brantley on 3rd and > long. They are Lindsey Lohan screwed up. > Chas Henry tries to smooth things over with the Meyer family by drilling a > 47 > yard FG. > 2:42 3rd Penn State 24 Florida 20 > I haven’t seen Paterno roaming the sideline in a while. He must be napping. > :59 3rd > McGloin is picked off for the 3rd time today. His next will equal his > regular > season total. > Joe Pa sighting. He’s laying into that giant red headed coach, the poor > bastard. They’re people, just like you and me, Joe! > End of the 3rd Penn State 24 Florida 20 > Florida is quickly faced with a 4th and 2 from their own 17. 2nd string QB > Jordan Reed converts on a 3 yard pass to 3rd string QB Trey Burton. > Florida capitalizes on a questionable pass interference call and Mike > Gillislee > punches it in from the 1 yard line. Florida takes the lead back. > The sunburn factor is catching up with Penn State. > 13:02 4th Florida 27 Penn State 24 > Florida has the lead, but Meyer still is in the lead of the Death Pool. > Blood > starts trickling out of his ear after an obvious Penn State fumble isn’t > reviewed. I’m browsing real estate on the North Shore of Oahu online. > Random ABC Shots of Joe Pa aimlessly roaming the sidelines: 32. > Jordan Reed has moments where he looks like Cam Newton. He has more moments > where he looks like John Brantley. > Reed and Omarius Hines lead Florida all the way down to the 2 yard line, but > they only come away with a FG. The drive burned a lot of clock, but Penn > State > is still a TD away from the lead. Big stop for the Nittnay Lions. > 7:32 4th Florida 30 Penn State 24 > It’s a race to the grave for these coaches. Meyer is looking terrible. He > is > coaching hard, but this Florida team is very average and it’s killing him. > (Nobody saw that coming, right?) On the other sideline it’s getting warmer > and > Joe Pa is getting cranky. He’s ready to get back to the Happy Valley. ABC > is > frequently showing the two in split-screen, hoping to catch the kill shot. > That’s ABC’s phrase, not mine. I find it repulsive. > Give Joe Pa credit, he looks money in his cashmere polo sweater. No chance > I > look that cool when I’m 96. > 3:14 4th > Florida burns more clock, but Penn State is getting the ball back with a > chance > to win the game. > Chas Henry totally redeems himself with a 59 yard punt. McGloin will have > to go > 79 yards with no timeouts if he wants to win this game. > 1:48 4th > Evan Royster is fresh. He busts off a run of 23 yards and then goes for 7 > more, > down to Florida’s 25. Momentum is with the Nittnay Lions. > Momentum can be a funny thing. Ahmad Black intercepts Matt McGloin and > returns > it 80 yards for a TD. This game is over. Ahmad Black was a monster today. > McGloin threw 4 interceptions in the regular season and 4 today. I could > make > an SEC speed joke here, but Penn State has dominated the SEC in the past. > They > don’t deserve that. > :55 Florida 37 Penn State 24 > Random ABC Shots of Joe Pa aimlessly roaming the sidelines: 43. > :14 4th > Moses Jenkins steps in front of a Matt McGloin pass giving the Gators 5 > interceptions on the day. A fitting end. Speed Kills. > Final Score Florida 37 Penn State 24 > If you had a bet on Florida winning you’re already up in 2011. If you are > like > me than you went all in on the exotic bet of a coach dying during the > Outback > Bowl. The future doesn’t look bright for us. > See y’all at the BCS Championship Game > > > > > > -- > Helen Huntley > (727) 823-3801 > www.helenhuntley.com > -- > GATORS: ONE VOICE ON SATURDAY - NO VOICE ON SUNDAY! > 1996 National Football Champions | 2006 National Basketball Champions > 2006 National Football Champions | 2007 National Basketball Champions > 2008 National Football Champions | > Three Heisman Trophy winners: Steve Spurrier (1966), Danny Wuerffel (1996), > Tim Tebow (2007) - Visit our website at www.gatornet.us > -- > GATORS: ONE VOICE ON SATURDAY - NO VOICE ON SUNDAY! > 1996 National Football Champions | 2006 National Basketball Champions > 2006 National Football Champions | 2007 National Basketball Champions > 2008 National Football Champions | > Three Heisman Trophy winners: Steve Spurrier (1966), Danny Wuerffel (1996), > Tim Tebow (2007) - Visit our website at www.gatornet.us > > > > -- > Helen Huntley > (727) 823-3801 > www.helenhuntley.com > -- > GATORS: ONE VOICE ON SATURDAY - NO VOICE ON SUNDAY! > 1996 National Football Champions | 2006 National Basketball Champions > 2006 National Football Champions | 2007 National Basketball Champions > 2008 National Football Champions | > Three Heisman Trophy winners: Steve Spurrier (1966), Danny Wuerffel (1996), > Tim Tebow (2007) - Visit our website at www.gatornet.us-- > GATORS: ONE VOICE ON SATURDAY - NO VOICE ON SUNDAY! > 1996 National Football Champions | 2006 National Basketball Champions > 2006 National Football Champions | 2007 National Basketball Champions > 2008 National Football Champions | > Three Heisman Trophy winners: Steve Spurrier (1966), Danny Wuerffel (1996), > Tim Tebow (2007) - Visit our website at www.gatornet.us > > -- > GATORS: ONE VOICE ON SATURDAY - NO VOICE ON SUNDAY! > 1996 National Football Champions | 2006 National Basketball Champions > 2006 National Football Champions | 2007 National Basketball Champions > 2008 National Football Champions | > Three Heisman Trophy winners: Steve Spurrier (1966), Danny Wuerffel (1996), > Tim Tebow (2007) - Visit our website at www.gatornet.us -- Sent from my mobile device -- GATORS: ONE VOICE ON SATURDAY - NO VOICE ON SUNDAY! 1996 National Football Champions | 2006 National Basketball Champions 2006 National Football Champions | 2007 National Basketball Champions 2008 National Football Champions | Three Heisman Trophy winners: Steve Spurrier (1966), Danny Wuerffel (1996), Tim Tebow (2007) - Visit our website at www.gatornet.us
