I've never smelled (is it really smelt?) corn dogs on a Cajun fan. I've smelt it on many an Auburn fan. They do have the best corn dogs in the SEC.
I have smelt a lot of stuff scrapped out of a ditch and cooked in Cajun spices and served over corn cobs that tasted better than grits. They can cook. We better hope they can't play football today. A. Leon Polhill, Gator "I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know." - Mark Twain ________________________________ From: Steve McKibben <[email protected]> To: "[email protected]" <[email protected]> Sent: Sat, October 6, 2012 9:32:52 AM Subject: Re: [gatortalk] LSU Corn Dogs Someone else's that I copied and posted last year. It's a new GT "tradition"... :) ________________________________ From: mail.bobparks.com <[email protected]> To: "[email protected]" <[email protected]> Sent: Friday, October 5, 2012 10:20 PM Subject: Re: [gatortalk] LSU Corn Dogs Excellent material, Steve. Your composition or someone else's? Oliver Barry, CRS, GRI Real Estate Broker Bob Parks, LLC 1517 Hunt Club Blvd Gallatin TN 37066 615-972-4239 615-826-4040 Sent from my iPhone On Oct 5, 2012, at 8:05 PM, Steve McKibben <[email protected]> wrote: LSU fans smell just like corn dogs. > >Yes, it is often said, but so, so true. > >LSU fans do smell like corn dogs. > >I would never tell them that to their face though. This is something better >said >at internet distances. Even now, I am afraid. > >I am afraid that they'll know I said it. I'll walk past an LSU fan someday, >and >he'll see that look in my eye that gives it away. That look that says, "gee, >what is that smell? Is it corn dogs?" The next thing you know, I'll have flat >tires on my car. > >If you only learn one thing from me today, remember not to tell LSU fans how >they smell - you know, like corn dogs. > >LSU fans seem, somehow, sensitive to that whole corn dog issue. >I think this may be why a lot of fans get beaten up by LSU fans. If you attend >a >game in Baton Rouge, try to avoid telling them that they smell like corn dogs. >Say something else instead. Like, "Wow, LSU sure does have a great team this >year. This is going to be a great SEC game." > >It's hard. I know. It's like when you're having sex and you try to think about >baseball. That corn dog smell is just so overwhelming. It makes it hard for >you >to think about football or baseball or whatever else. Your brain wanders into >corn dog topics like: "Gee, I wonder if I took a bite of your finger, if you >would taste just like a corn dog?"; or "Is this a real person or is it a giant >corn dog trying to make me think it is a real person?" or "What did that giant >corn dog just say?" or "Excuse me, Mister, why is it that you smell just >exactly >like corn dogs smell?" or, of course, after a silencer: "Madam, did you just >let >the corn dogs out?" > >Heck, after what I've heard about LSU fans, I think it may be better not to >smell them at all. Okay, not all of them. Some of them are nice. Sure. Smell >the >nice ones. That's okay. > >You know what else is a bad thing to do? Holding your nose around them. They >are >real sensitive to that, too. Try holding your breath. But don't be obvious >about >it. Somehow they know you're trying not to breathe in the corn dog smell. And >that offends them. They'll likely punch you for that if they catch on to what >you're doing. > >If you do breathe it in long enough, though, it'll permeate your whole body, >and >then you'll smell like a corn dog just like they do. But don't say, "Dang, now >I >smell like a corn dog." They take offense to that. And they will throw things. >But not corn dogs. Hard stuff. Stuff that leaves bruises and makes you bleed. >Then you may have to get stitches or something. Just don't say it. If you do >start smelling like a corn dog, just shut up about it. Okay? > >I think kids are acutely aware of corn dog smells too. Counsel your kids on >how >to behave around LSU fans. If LSU fans are driving around town, do not let >your >kids stick their heads out of your car window and sniff the air. No. Keep your >windows rolled up. An odd change in their expression - indicating they smell >corn dogs - might get a wrench or pipe or some other object tossed at your >windshield. So, that's > >dangerous. Let your kids stick their heads out of the car windows as you drive >- >on some other weekend > >I know you are just as puzzled as I am about some of this corn dog stuff. What >puzzles me most is that I've never actually seen any of these LSU fans with a >corn dog in their hand. Okay, maybe there's no mystery there - maybe they >already ate the corn dogs. Who knows? > > >Maybe there's a corn dog factory in Baton Rouge and they all work there. >Maybe, >there's a corn dog lotion that they wear, or a French perfume. Maybe their >city >council puts corn dog juice in the water supply - kind of like fluoride. The >politics there are probably weird. The big political issue during the city >election is whether they should add more ketchup or more mustard to the water. >Don't comment on it though. It's not politically correct over there. It's like >a >malnutrition issue or something. It's like the corn dogs are probably added to >the water to prevent starvation or something. > >I know when you go to Baton Rouge, you're thinking: "Ahhhh. Here I am in Baton >Rouge, Louisiana. I'll bet the people here smell just like boiled crawfish or >shrimp etoufee' or some fancy Cajun food." But just stop thinking that. That's >just a myth. They smell just like corn dogs. > >In fact, please listen to my advice. Leave them alone about the corn dog odor. >And don't try masking the odor with something stronger. They'll curse at you. >They'll say something like: "WTF, how dare you smoke a cigar in my home," or >"WTF!! Are you too good for the smell of corn dogs?" and they'll cuss out your >kids too: "WTF!!! Little Mister fancy pants over here acts like he doesn't >want >to smell like corn dogs." > >Cajuns are not like us. Don't you see that, yet? They are really sensitive >about >being sniffed and about their corn dog aroma. They know they smell like corn >dogs and it is no laughing matter to them at all. I know, I know. We sniff the >bammers and the UGA dawgs and the Ole messes, and we keep a straight face with >each of them, but don't press your luck with the Cajun tiger fans. Don't refer >to Death Valley as corn dog valley either. I mean that's just wrong. Even if >you've been drinking, they'll beat you up and curse out your kids. > >Along these lines, be extra careful when you laugh in their direction - even >if >you're laughing about something else. Like baseball or football, or sex or >whatever. If you can't control yourself and you must laugh though, do not >snort. >The snorting makes them think that you smell their corn dog body odor from a >distance or that you're choking on it or something. They'll likely burn your >van >for that. We lost a campus building over just one snort. > > >So, just remember. You can love one another without sniffing each other. You >can >enjoy the clash of a couple of good football teams. You can enjoy the thrill >of >the rivalry. But after the game, please heed my words. Please just move along. >No sniffing the opposing fans this Saturday. Okay? Get your corn dog jollies >at >home. > >Enough with this corn dog talk. Let's play ball... > > >-- >GATORS: ONE VOICE ON SATURDAY - NO VOICE ON SUNDAY! >1996 National Football Champions | 2006 National Basketball Champions >2006 National Football Champions | 2007 National Basketball Champions >2008 National Football Champions | >Three Heisman Trophy winners: Steve Spurrier (1966), Danny Wuerffel (1996), >Tim Tebow (2007) - Visit our website at www.gatornet.us-- GATORS: ONE VOICE ON SATURDAY - NO VOICE ON SUNDAY! 1996 National Football Champions | 2006 National Basketball Champions 2006 National Football Champions | 2007 National Basketball Champions 2008 National Football Champions | Three Heisman Trophy winners: Steve Spurrier (1966), Danny Wuerffel (1996), Tim Tebow (2007) - Visit our website at www.gatornet.us -- GATORS: ONE VOICE ON SATURDAY - NO VOICE ON SUNDAY! 1996 National Football Champions | 2006 National Basketball Champions 2006 National Football Champions | 2007 National Basketball Champions 2008 National Football Champions | Three Heisman Trophy winners: Steve Spurrier (1966), Danny Wuerffel (1996), Tim Tebow (2007) - Visit our website at www.gatornet.us -- GATORS: ONE VOICE ON SATURDAY - NO VOICE ON SUNDAY! 1996 National Football Champions | 2006 National Basketball Champions 2006 National Football Champions | 2007 National Basketball Champions 2008 National Football Champions | Three Heisman Trophy winners: Steve Spurrier (1966), Danny Wuerffel (1996), Tim Tebow (2007) - Visit our website at www.gatornet.us
