Devil: Hey, why are you bumming out?
Man: If you died and went to Hell, youd be bumming out too.
Devil: Hell isnt what you think it is. It's fun down here. Say, do you drink?
Man: Sure, I love to drink. Why?
Devil: Well, youre gonna love Mondays then. Because on Mondays, all we do here is drink. Hell, we have whiskey, tequila, rum, vodka, all the booze you want to drink. We drink til we puke then we drink more.
Man: Ah that sounds great.
Devil: Do you smoke?
Man: Damn right I do.
Devil: Cool! Youre gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world. Smoke all you want. You dont have to worry about getting cancer because youre already dead anyway.
Man: No shit!
Devil: You like gambling?
Man: Hell yeah!
Devil: Great! On Wednesdays, we have gambling night here in Hell. We have slot machines, roulette, craps, black jack, horse racing, you name it, we got it, and we just recently opened up a new pai gow poker table.
Man: Hmmmmmmmmmmm, I never played pai gow poker before.
Devil: Now you can. You like to get stoned?
Man: I love getting stoned! You mean...
Devil: Thats right man, because on Thursdays, its stoner night here in Hell! Help yourself to a huge bowl of crack, smoke a joint the size of a nuclear sub, do all the drugs you want and you dont have to worry about overdosing because youre already dead anyhow.
Man: Awesome! I never thought Hell was one swinging place!
Devil: Are you gay?
Man: Uh, no.
Devil: Oooh, youre gonna hate Fridays!
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