I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).
Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may receive. Document: draft-ietf-ecrit-framework-10.txt Reviewer: Francis Dupont Review Date: 2010-03-05 IETF LC End Date: 2010-03-10 IESG Telechat date: unknown Summary: Almost Ready Major issues: None Minor issues: the Terminology is incomplete (no PSAP for instance) and the GPS stuff seems a bit USA centric (IMHO you should show the document to a GPS (or Galileo :-) expert). Nits/editorial comments: - ToC page 2: Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments - 1 page 3: add USA to National (if the NENA is a USA organization :-) - 1 page 3: I'd *really* like to get an entry for PSAP here! - 1 page 3: IMHO there should be an entry for LoST too. - 1 page 4: RoutinglLocation -> Routing Location - 2 page 5: e.g. -> e.g., - 2 page 5: expand EV-DO? - 3 page 10: AliceE -> Alice - 3 page 10: missing [M7] and [M8] - 3 page 10: floating "Figure 2" without a figure (from the .txt version) - 3 page 10 (in ESRP entry): sip -> SIP - 3 page 10: e.g. -> e.g., - 6 page 15: I don't know the quality of GPS in mobile phone, I have a GPS receiver for pedestrian (surely best conditions: open-sky, low speed), its accuracy is between 4 and 15 m (displayed) and <10m at 95% (vendor specs in peace time) without WAAS (I use it in France) so your numbers are a bit conservative. - 6.1 page 16: WGS 84 could (should :-) be replaced by another system and as far as I know it is not the system used in Europe (I don't know for ASIA). - 6.2 page 17: e.g. -> e.g., - 6.5 page 20: requestor -> requester? - 6.8 page 23: UAC -> UA (typo? if not the abbrev should be expanded) - 6.10 page 25: United States -> United States of America (yes, there are more than one United States :-) - 7 page 26: IMHO you should add a reference for LoST - 8 page 27: AP -> access point - 9.1 page 28: xref problem (missing '<' in XML?) - 9.1 page 28: IPSEC -> IPsec - 10 page 30: please define AoR abbrev at its first use. - 12 page 30: i.e -> i.e., - 15 page 31: some missing text before "includes a description" - 18 page 32: Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments - Authors' Addresses pages 36 and 37: US -> USA Regards [email protected] PS: you have some comments from Cullen Jennings too. _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
