I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>
Please resolve these comments along with any other comments you may receive.
Document: draft-ietf-pwe3-redundancy-bit-06.txt
Reviewer: Miguel Garcia <[email protected]>
Review Date: 2012-03-20
IETF LC End Date: 2012-03-21
Summary: The document is almost ready for publication as a standards
track RFC, but has some minor issues that should be fixed.
Major issues: none
Minor issues:
- I noticed that many RFC-2119 alike reserved words are written in lower
case (thus, they are not normative), where I think they should be
normative, in order to achieve interoperability. Allow me to highlight a
few examples:
+ Section 5.1, bullet point 2: Both Note 1 and Note 2 include "it is
recommended", where I think it should be "it is RECOMMENDED". As a
collateral effect of this, if you agree to write uppercase words here,
you need to remove the terms "Note 1" and "Note 2", because notes should
be informative by nature; they should not contain normative text.
+ Section 5.1, last paragraph on page 10. "should be generated". A bit
later on the same paragraph, but now on page 11: "a PE may use ..."
+ Section 5.1, page 11. The paragraph under the bullet point "Active
state" contains "the PE nodes must implement". And the paragraph under
the bullet point "Standby State" contains "The endpoints of the PW may
also allow..."
+ Section 5.2, 4th paragraph on page 12: There are three instances of
"must" that should be "MUST".
+ Section 6.2, second paragraph: "the PW MUST also not be used" should
include the NOT in uppercase, and probably remove the "also" (remember
that "MUST not" does not equal "MUST NOT" or "MUST also NOT".
Nits/editorial comments:
- As an external reviewer, not familiar with the PW technology, I would
appreciate if the draft adds a section (perhaps inside Section 3) where
all the acronyms are expanded, and perhaps briefly described. Otherwise,
it is hard to read the draft, and try to find where is the first
occurrence of the acronym, where it was expanded.
- Table 1: In the STANDBY state, the last action is "No action", whereas
the rest of the actions in the table, where there is no action, the text
is set to "None". So, probably this one should also be set to "None".
- Section 15.5, first paragraph, there is extra spacing and extra dots at
the end of this first paragraph.
/Miguel
--
Miguel A. Garcia
+34-91-339-3608
Ericsson Spain
_______________________________________________
Gen-art mailing list
[email protected]
https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
