Hi Robert, Many thanks for your review. Please find comments/replies in line.
BR Daniele (& co-authors) From: Robert Sparks [mailto:[email protected]] Sent: venerdì 11 ottobre 2013 17:16 To: General Area Review Team; [email protected]; [email protected] Subject: Gen-Art LC review draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-ospf-g709v3-09 I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq><http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may receive. Document: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-ospf-g709v3-09 Reviewer: Robert Sparks Review Date: 11-Oct-2013 IETF LC End Date: 16-Oct-2013 IESG Telechat date: Not yet scheduled for a telechat Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication, but has nits that should be fixed before publication. This document is dense (as in it puts a lot of information in a small number of characters), but it reads clearly. I did not carefully review the contents of the example fields for editorial mistakes - please be sure someone in the group has done that. The largest issue I see is on the border of being more than a nit. I'm calling it a nit because it should be very easy to fix: The sentence "Same type of modification needs to applied to the IANA-GMPLS-TC-MIB at https://www.iana.org/assignments/ianagmplstc-mib/ianagmplstc-mib"; is not sufficient instruction to IANA to cause that registry to be modified. Please provide more precise instructions as to how this mib should change. [[Authors]] How about the following? OLD Same type of modification needs to applied to the IANA-GMPLS-TC-MIB at https://www.iana.org/assignments/ianagmplstc-mib/ianagmplstc-mib NEW Same type of modification needs to applied to the IANA-GMPLS-TC-MIB at https://www.iana.org/assignments/ianagmplstc-mib/ianagmplstc-mib, where the value OTN-TDM (110), -- Time-Division-Multiplex OTN-TDM capable Will be added to the IANAGmplsSwitchingTypeTC ::= TEXTUAL-CONVENTION syntax list. I note also that the value 40 from RFC6060 didn't make it into the mib. The rest of these are more nitty nits: --- In section 4, I think you've repeated a MUST, and risk introducing confusion. It's awkward to point to this with paragraph numbers because of the interspersed tables, so I'll quote the relevant block: When supporting the extensions defined in this document, the Switching Capability and Encoding values MUST be used as follows: - Switching Capability = OTN-TDM - Encoding Type = G.709 ODUk (Digital Path) as defined in [RFC4328] Both for fixed and flexible ODUs the same switching type and encoding values MUST be used. If I read that correctly , those are the same MUST and you're saying it's a MUST no matter whether you're talking about fixed or flexible ODUs. If that's correct I suggest replacing this with: When supporting the extensions defined in this document, for both fixed and flexible ODUs, the Switching Capability and Encoding values MUST be used as follows: - Switching Capability = OTN-TDM - Encoding Type = G.709 ODUk (Digital Path) as defined in [RFC4328] (or leave out the fixed and flexible clarification altogether - I would not have been confused without it). [[Authors]] Comment correct. New text adopted. --- In section 8.2, where you say "IANA will create and maintain a new registry", I suggest you say "new sub-registry". [[Authors]] OK RjS
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