Many thanks for your review, Robert! Daniele, thank you for the modifications. However, I do not see the IANA section modification yet in -11. But maybe I missed it. Has that been incorporated to the latest version? (I thought your text suggestion looked fine.)
Jari On Oct 15, 2013, at 5:21 AM, Daniele Ceccarelli <[email protected]> wrote: > Hi Robert, > > Many thanks for your review. Please find comments/replies in line. > > BR > Daniele (& co-authors) > > From: Robert Sparks [mailto:[email protected]] > Sent: venerdì 11 ottobre 2013 17:16 > To: General Area Review Team; [email protected]; > [email protected] > Subject: Gen-Art LC review draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-ospf-g709v3-09 > > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on > Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at > > <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. > > Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments > you may receive. > > Document: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-ospf-g709v3-09 > Reviewer: Robert Sparks > Review Date: 11-Oct-2013 > IETF LC End Date: 16-Oct-2013 > IESG Telechat date: Not yet scheduled for a telechat > > Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication, but has nits that > should be fixed before publication. > > This document is dense (as in it puts a lot of information in a small number > of characters), but it reads clearly. > I did not carefully review the contents of the example fields for editorial > mistakes - please be sure someone in the group has done that. > > The largest issue I see is on the border of being more than a nit. I'm > calling it a nit because it should be very easy to fix: > The sentence "Same type of modification needs to applied to the > IANA-GMPLS-TC-MIB at > https://www.iana.org/assignments/ianagmplstc-mib/ianagmplstc-mib"; is not > sufficient instruction to IANA to cause that registry to be modified. Please > provide more precise > instructions as to how this mib should change. > > [[Authors]] How about the following? > > OLD > > Same type of modification needs to applied to the IANA-GMPLS-TC-MIB at > https://www.iana.org/assignments/ianagmplstc-mib/ianagmplstc-mib > > NEW > > Same type of modification needs to applied to the IANA-GMPLS-TC-MIB at > https://www.iana.org/assignments/ianagmplstc-mib/ianagmplstc-mib, where the > value > > OTN-TDM (110), -- Time-Division-Multiplex OTN-TDM capable > > Will be added to the IANAGmplsSwitchingTypeTC ::= TEXTUAL-CONVENTION syntax > list. > > > > I note also that the value 40 from RFC6060 didn't make it into the mib. > > The rest of these are more nitty nits: > > --- > In section 4, I think you've repeated a MUST, and risk introducing confusion. > It's awkward to point to this with paragraph numbers because of the > interspersed tables, so I'll quote the relevant block: > > When supporting the extensions defined in this document, the > Switching Capability and Encoding values MUST be used as follows: > > - Switching Capability = OTN-TDM > - Encoding Type = G.709 ODUk (Digital Path) as defined in [RFC4328] > > Both for fixed and flexible ODUs the same switching type and encoding > values MUST be used. > If I read that correctly , those are the same MUST and you're saying it's a > MUST no matter whether you're talking about fixed or flexible ODUs. > If that's correct I suggest replacing this with: > > When supporting the extensions defined in this document, for both > fixed and flexible ODUs, the Switching Capability and Encoding values > MUST be used as follows: > > - Switching Capability = OTN-TDM > - Encoding Type = G.709 ODUk (Digital Path) as defined in [RFC4328] > (or leave out the fixed and flexible clarification altogether - I would not > have been confused without it). > [[Authors]] Comment correct. New text adopted. > > > --- > > In section 8.2, where you say "IANA will create and maintain a new registry", > I suggest you say "new sub-registry". > [[Authors]] OK > > > RjS > _______________________________________________ > Gen-art mailing list > [email protected] > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
