On 24/02/2014 08:03, Christer Holmberg wrote:
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at <
http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
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Document: draft-ietf-eman-framework-15.txt
Reviewer: Christer Holmberg
Review Date: 24 February 2014
IETF LC End Date: 24 February 2014
IESG Telechat date: N/A
Summary: I have no major issues with the document, but I have a few
editorial comments that I ask the authors to consider addressing.
Major issues: -
Minor issues: -
Nits/editorial comments:
Section 4:
------------
Q4_1: The 3^rd picture (Single Power Supply with Multiple Devices) is
split between two pages. Would it be possible to make sure the whole
picture is on a single page?
Sure, the RFC editors take care of that during AUTH48, and we will also
double-check.
Q4_2: In the 4^th picture (Multiple Power Supplies with Single
Devices), there are two "######" lines between 'power source 1' and
'device'? Is there a reason for that?
Good catch.
This was a left over from an old diagram
Section 5:
------------
Q5_1: I think it would be useful to have a few general words about
what is not covered also in the Abstract and Introduction.
Not sure if the abstract is the right place, but we added a new
paragraph in the Introduction section.
Section 6.2:
--------------
Q6_2_1: Within section 6.2, and the subclasses, do you need to
indicate '(Class)'? The section name already indicates '(Class)'?
No, please see the "Summary of Notation" table in section 6.1
Q6_2_2: Shall 'Component (Component)' be 'Component (Class)'?
Very good catch.
Section 6.3:
--------------
Q6_3_1: For section 6.3.2, I suggest to change the section title from
'Context in General' to 'Context: General', to be aligned with the
other Context related attributes.
Yes.
Thank you for your feedback.
The next draft version will be posted shortly
Regards, Benoit
Regards,
Christer
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