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Document: draft-ietf-l2vpn-pbb-evpn-09.txt
Reviewer: Christer Holmberg
Review Date: 5 February 2015
IETF LC End Date: 26 January 2015
IETF Telechat Date: 5 February 2015
Summary: The document is well written, and almost ready
for publication. However, there are some editorial nits and questions that I'd
like to authors to address.
Major Issues: None
Minor Issues: None
Editorial nits:
General:
QGEN_1: I don't see the "PE" abbreviation extended
anywhere. Is it a well-known abbreviation, or should it be extended on first
occurrence (or explained in the Terminology section)?
--------------
Section 4:
Q4_1: I suggest to re-write the sentence to something like:
"The requirements for PBB-EVPN consist of all EVPN
requirements [RFC7209], and the additional
requirements
described in this section."
Q4_2: The section name says "BGP MPLS Based EVPN Overview".
However, the first sentence then says "This
section provides an overview of EVPN.".
So, is the section about BGP MPLS Based EVPN, or
about EVPN in general? Based on the answer, I suggest to align the section name
and the first sentence.
--------------
Section 4.1:
Q4-1_1: I guess "[EVPN] PE" shall be "EVPN PE", i.e. not a
reference.
"In typical operation, an [EVPN] PE sends..."
...should be:
"In typical operation, an EVPN PE sends..."
Q4-1_2: Should there be a reference (or, explanation in the
Terminology section) for "data center interconnect (DCI)"?
--------------
Section 4.2:
Q4-2_1: The text says "Certain applications, such as virtual
machine mobility,...."
Is virtual machine mobility considered an application?
Would it be more appropriate to say "such as those providing
virtual machine mobility", or "such as those using virtual machine mobility"?
--------------
Section 5:
Q5_1: I suggest to modify "The solution involves..." to "The
PBB-EVPN solution involves..."
Q5_2: I guess there should be a new line after "The PE nodes
perform the following functions:", before the first bullet.
--------------
Section 7:
Q7_1: I suggest to replace the "[EVPN]" reference with "EVPN".
--------------
Section 8:
Q8_1: Is ARP a well-known abbreviation, or should it be extended
on first occurrence?
Q8_2: Is a reference needed for ARP/ARP-proxy?
--------------
Section 10:
Q10_1: The text says:
"In this section, we discuss the advantages of the PBB-EVPN solution
in the context of the requirements set forth in section 3 above."
I don't think section 3 is "above", because there are quite many
chapters in between :)
Q10_2: Related to the previous comment, shouldn't this section be located
earlier in the document? If not, I think it would be good to reference to
section 10 e.g. in the Introduction section.
--------------
Regards,
Christer
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