I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART,
please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>
Document: draft-ietf-tram-turn-third-party-authz-08.txt
Reviewer: Christer Holmberg
Review Date: 5 February 2015
IETF LC End Date: 4 January 2015
IETF Telechat Date: 19 February 2015
Summary: The document is well written, and almost ready for publication.
However, I do have some editorial comments, which I request to authors to
address.
Major Issues: None
Minor Issues: None
Editorial nits: See below
-------------
General:
QGEN_1: The text says "OAuth". Should it say "OAuth 2.0"?
-------------
Section 1:
Q1_1: The text says "OAuth". Should it say "OAuth 2.0"?
Q1_2: Please add an OAuth reference on first occurrence.
Q1_3: I suggest to add a sentence, saying that the document also defines how to
use OAuth with the TURN extension.
-------------
Section 3:
Q3_1: The text says:
"In the future STUNbis [I-D.ietf-tram-stunbis] will support hash
agility and accomplish this agility by conveying the HMAC algorithms
supported by the STUN server along with a STUN error message to the
client."
I suggest to remove "In the future STUNbis".
Q3_2: The text says:
"The STUN token is returned in JSON"
Should the text say "JSON format", "JSON syntax", or something similar?
Q3_3: Please add a reference to JSON on first occurence.
Q3_4: Where are the parameter names of the JSON message defined? Are the
parameter names identical to the ones listed in section 6.2? Figure 3 does show
an example, but there should be normative text.
-------------
Section 4:
Q4_1: The section gives an example using a TURN server. But, before that
TURN has not been mentioned, and TURN usage is not described until section 9.
In addition, I don't think the example even belongs in this section, which is
only about obtaining the access token. I suggest to move the example to section
9.
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Section 7:
Q7_1: I suggest to change the section name to "STUN Server Procedures", or
something like that.
-------------
Section 8:
Q8_1: I suggest to change the section name to "STUN Client Procedures", or
something like that.
-------------
Regards,
Christer
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