Francis: Thank you for the reviewing this document.
Sue -----Original Message----- From: Francis Dupont [mailto:francis.dup...@fdupont.fr] Sent: Wednesday, June 22, 2016 10:22 AM To: gen-art@ietf.org Cc: draft-ietf-trill-irb....@ietf.org Subject: review of draft-ietf-trill-irb-13.txt I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just like any other last call comments. For more information, please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. Document: draft-ietf-trill-irb-13.txt Reviewer: Francis Dupont Review Date: 20160618 IETF LC End Date: 20160624 IESG Telechat date: 20150630 Summary: Ready Major issues: None Minor issues: None Nits/editorial comments: - you have 6 (with a soft limit of 5) authors - 1 page 3: please expand the first occurrence of the FGL abbrev (in theory you should expand the TRILL abbrev and in the Abstract too but IMHO it is unlikely to get a reader of this document who does not know the TRILL abbrev meaning and raises a concern. BTW VLAN is well known (*) so doesn't need to be expanded) (* starred in http://www.rfc-editor.org/materials/abbrev.expansion.txt) - 1 page 3: i.e. -> i.e., - 3.1 page 5: IMHO the title should be on the next page (page 6). This will be fixed by the RFC Editor anyway. - 3.1 pages 6 and further: congratulations, you use IP addresses from blocks reserved for documentation. - 5.2 page 12: dependant -> dependent - 5.4 pages 14 and 15: I have an academic question: did you find some cases of external redirects? This term is not common (nor use cases :-) so I copy a definition I gave during a discussion about SEND (the secure IPv6 neighbor discovery): - give the link-layer address of an off-link destination which is in fact on-link. This "external redirect" is used for IPv6 over ATM to implement NHRP short cuts for instance. - 6 page 15: another example of strange page layout that should be fixed by the RFC Editor. - 7.1 page 19: TENANT-LABEL -> TENANT-GWMAC-LABEL (cf 9 IANA Considerations page 22 ) Regards francis.dup...@fdupont.fr _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list Gen-art@ietf.org https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
