Hi Francis, Thanks for the review. See some responses below.
On Wed, Jun 22, 2016 at 10:22 AM, Francis Dupont <[email protected]> wrote: > > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area > Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed > by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just > like any other last call comments. > > For more information, please see the FAQ at > > <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. > > Document: draft-ietf-trill-irb-13.txt > Reviewer: Francis Dupont > Review Date: 20160618 > IETF LC End Date: 20160624 > IESG Telechat date: 20150630 > > Summary: Ready > > Major issues: None > > Minor issues: None > > Nits/editorial comments: > - you have 6 (with a soft limit of 5) authors I have have consulted with the authors and they will reduce it to 5. > - 1 page 3: please expand the first occurrence of the FGL abbrev > > (in theory you should expand the TRILL abbrev and in the Abstract too > but IMHO it is unlikely to get a reader of this document who does > not know the TRILL abbrev meaning and raises a concern. BTW VLAN > is well known (*) so doesn't need to be expanded) > (* starred in http://www.rfc-editor.org/materials/abbrev.expansion.txt) OK. > - 1 page 3: i.e. -> i.e., OK. > - 3.1 page 5: IMHO the title should be on the next page (page 6). > This will be fixed by the RFC Editor anyway. I don't know how easy it will be for the authors to fix this but, as you point out, the RFC Editor can always fix it. > - 3.1 pages 6 and further: congratulations, you use IP addresses > from blocks reserved for documentation. Thanks. > - 5.2 page 12: dependant -> dependent OK. > - 5.4 pages 14 and 15: I have an academic question: did you find > some cases of external redirects? This term is not common > (nor use cases :-) so I copy a definition I gave during a discussion > about SEND (the secure IPv6 neighbor discovery): > - give the link-layer address of an off-link destination which is > in fact on-link. This "external redirect" is used for IPv6 over > ATM to implement NHRP short cuts for instance. I don't think so but I'm not exactly sure what that would mean in this case. > - 6 page 15: another example of strange page layout that should be > fixed by the RFC Editor. See response above. > - 7.1 page 19: TENANT-LABEL -> TENANT-GWMAC-LABEL > (cf 9 IANA Considerations page 22 ) OK. Thanks, Donald (document Shepherd) =============================== Donald E. Eastlake 3rd +1-508-333-2270 (cell) 155 Beaver Street, Milford, MA 01757 USA [email protected] > Regards > > [email protected] _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
