> On Dec 12, 2023, at 10:23 AM, Greg Mirsky <[email protected]> wrote:
> 
> Hi Russ,
> thank you for your comments and suggestions; most helpful. Please find my 
> notes below tagged GIM>>. I've attached the new working version of the draft 
> that includes all the updates addressing your concerns.
> 
> Regards,
> Greg
> 
> On Mon, Dec 11, 2023 at 1:17 PM Russ Housley via Datatracker 
> <[email protected] <mailto:[email protected]>> wrote:
>> Reviewer: Russ Housley
>> Review result: Almost Ready
>> 
>> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
>> Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
>> by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please wait for direction from your
>> document shepherd or AD before posting a new version of the draft.
>> 
>> For more information, please see the FAQ at
>> <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
>> 
>> Document: draft-ietf-detnet-mpls-oam-13
>> Reviewer: Russ Housley
>> Review Date: 2023-12-11
>> IETF LC End Date: 2023-12-19
>> IESG Telechat date: unknown
>> 
>> Summary: Almost Ready
>> 
>> 
>> Major Concerns:
>> 
>> Section 3.1: In the description of the d-ACH Sequence Number, it says:
>> 
>>       ... The originator node
>>       MUST increase the value of the Sequence Number field by 1 for each
>>       active OAM packet.
>> 
>> Since the field is 8 bits, the description should also talk about what
>> happens when 1 is added to 255.  (I assume it wraps.)
> GIM>> You're correct, it is circular. Would the following update address your 
> concern:
> OLD TEXT:
>       Sequence Number - is an unsigned 8-bit field.  The sequence number
>       space is circular with no restriction on the initial value.  The
>       originator DetNet node MUST set the value of the Sequence Number
>       field before the transmission of a packet.  The originator node
>       MUST increase the value of the Sequence Number field by 1 for each
>       active OAM packet.
> NEW TEXT:
>       Sequence Number - is an unsigned circular 8-bit field.  The
>       sequence number space is circular with no restriction on the
>       initial value.  The originator DetNet node MUST set the value of
>       the Sequence Number field before the transmission of a packet.
>       the initial value SHOULD be random (unpredictable).  The
>       originator node MUST increase the value of the Sequence Number
>       field by 1 for each active OAM packet. 

Yes, that resolves my concern.

>> 
>> Minor Concerns:
>> 
>> General: Based on the Abstract, ACH seems to mean Associated Channel, but
>> other places it seems to mean Associated Channel Header.  Please be
>> consistent.
> GIM>> Thank you for pointing this out. I've checked how ACH is extended in 
> RFC 5085 <https://www.rfc-editor.org/rfc/rfc5085.html>. It is extended as 
> Associated Channel Header, while Associated Channel is always used without 
> abbreviation. I've updated the document accordingly. 

Thanks.

>> 
>> Nits:
>> 
>> Section 1: s/of active and hybrid, as defined in [RFC7799], OAM methods./
>>             /of active and hybrid OAM methods, as defined in [RFC7799]./
> GIM>> Thank you, done. 

Thanks.

>> 
>> Section 2.1: Some terms have a hyphen between the term and the definition.
>> Others do not.  Please use some separator in all cases.
>> 
>> Figure 3: s/DetNet Associated Channel Header/d-ACH/
> GIM>> Done 

Thanks.

>> 
>> Section 4.1: I cannot parse this sentence:
>> 
>>    The manipulation makes the
>>    identification of the TSN Stream in the intermittent TSN nodes avoids
>>    the need to look for the S-Label afterward. 
>> 
>> Please reword.
> GIMM>> Thank you for raising up this. Please consider the following update:
> OLD TEXT:
>    The first component identifies the DetNet flow (using Clause 6.8 of
>    [IEEE.802.1CBdb]) and the second component creates” the TSN Stream
>    via manipulation of the Ethernet header.  The manipulation makes the
>    identification of the TSN Stream in the intermittent TSN nodes avoids
>    the need to look for the S-Label afterward. 
> NEW TEXT:
>    The first component identifies the DetNet flow (using Clause 6.8 of
>    [IEEE.802.1CBdb]), and the second component creates the TSN Stream by
>    manipulating the Ethernet header.  That manipulation simplifies the
>    identification of the TSN Stream in the intermediate TSN nodes by
>    avoiding the need for them to look outside of the Ethernet header.

That works for me.

Russ

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