Inter-department memo from the MIS management

Attention: As many of you are aware, there are several security protocols
available for network authentication, such as PAP, CHAP, MS-CHAP, etc.
However, it has become necessary, due to the increased ability of hackers to
thwart these and other defenses, to implement our own new, proprietary
authentication the Challenge-Response Authentication Protocol, or C.R.A.P.

We will begin installing C.R.A.P. on all servers and workstations
immediately. As soon as the laptops have gone through the
"C.R.A.P.-on-your-lap" upgrade program, the remote users will have to go
through C.R.A.P. to connect to the network over a modem. Portable C.R.A.P.
will not be very different from desktop C.R.A.P., and both versions are
expected to generate similar quantities of paperwork.

Once all the machines have C.R.A.P. on them, we expect the first round of
bugs to appear. We will have extra support personnel on hand to deal with
bugs brought to light by the presence C.R.A.P.. Eventually, we expect to
make the network even less appealing to hackers by implementing additional
layers of C.R.A.P.. Once the C.R.A.P. becomes thick enough, we don't think
anyone will try to get in anymore. So, the next time someone tells you that
we have C.R.A.P. for security, you can smile and proudly agree.

The MIS management


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