LOL, Those Qantas guys... Having worked as a tradesmen for 10 yrs I kind of appreciate the humour that develops to deal with working on the shop floor.
> Nice. I like this one. This and the Kerry will be two of the few > General messages I save :) > > > David A. Bandel wrote: > > >-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE----- > >Hash: SHA1 > > > >I found this lying around and remembered why -- very funny. However, > >several years ago Qantas finally had an accident (shows how old this > >is): > > > >After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which > >conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during > >the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and > >correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of > >the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe > >sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews > >and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged > >maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and > >the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is > >the only major airline that has never had an accident. > > > >(P = The problem logged by the pilot.) > >(S = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.) > > > >P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. > >S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. > > > >P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. > >S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. > > > >P: Something loose in cockpit. > >S: Something tightened in cockpit. > > > >P: Dead bugs on windshield. > >S: Live bugs on backorder. > > > >P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute > >descent. > >S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. > > > >P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. > >S: Evidence removed. > > > >P: DME volume unbelievably loud. > >S: DME volume set to more believable level. > > > >P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. > >S: That's what they're there for. > > > >P: IFF inoperative. > >S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. > > > >P: Suspected crack in windshield. > >S: Suspect you're right. > > > >P: Number 3 engine missing. > >S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. > > > >P: Aircraft handles funny. > >S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. > > > >P: Target radar hums. > >S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. > > > >P: Mouse in cockpit. > >S: Cat installed. > > > >P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget > >pounding on something with a hammer. > >S: Took hammer away from midget. > > > >Hope you enjoyed. > > > >David A. Bandel > >- -- > >Focus on the dream, not the competition. > > Nemesis Racing Team motto > >GPG key autoresponder: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] > >-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE----- > >Version: GnuPG v1.2.4 (GNU/Linux) > > > >iD8DBQFBHQR6j31PLQNUbV4RAjARAJ9dnc/RFkzi1ypNwf2pYCWjq2bxzACeN5T6 > >CcoDWeGB1br7MDB4Q2bjhbQ= > >=ZABi > >-----END PGP SIGNATURE----- > >_______________________________________________ > >[EMAIL PROTECTED] > >Unsub/Pause/Etc -> http://mail.linux-sxs.org/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/general > > > > > > > > > _______________________________________________ > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > Unsub/Pause/Etc -> http://mail.linux-sxs.org/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/general > _______________________________________________ [EMAIL PROTECTED] Unsub/Pause/Etc -> http://mail.linux-sxs.org/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/general
