The news broke early this afternoon that the notorious Climber girls, Mittens and Missy, are both safely behind bars. The general public can rest easier, and border restrictions are eased as law enforcement officials report the spectacular capture of the elusive Missy.
Expert surveillance had detected the fugitive's hiding place by late morning, and special operations officers placed a baited trap close to the main entrance. When this method failed, the chief investigator on the case consulted with psychology experts and devised an ingenious device which eventually spelled the end of Missy's bid for freedom. Appealing to Missy's deep-seated need to tunnel and to her insatiable curiosity, local engineers constructed a trap consisting of a cardboard tube inserted into the neck of a long sock. In moments, the con was in the bag, and authorities were chalking up another victory, bringing this exciting event to a successful close. Meanwhile, prison authorities report some tension between the two cell mates, resulting in a temporary separation. However, on the advice of the prison counselling service, the girls have been left in very close contact, in hopes that they will soon sort out their differences. No doubt the accusations over this bungled attempt will be flying for some time. The governor of the the prison would like to publically thank everyone who offered support and advice during this tension-filled time. Any who would like to join the official celebrations tonight are welcome. Laura O'Brien, reporting from Dublin.
