> I appreciate any feedback you might give. I do not promise that I will follow > every suggestion but I will consider them.
Page 2: Not all developers are listed in the AUTHORS file, some are not. You can skip the "all", but this is a very minor issue. Page 7: build repair fill feed heal upgrade This isn't well structured: "build" and "upgrade" belong to units as well as to buildungs. So why do you separte "repair" and "heal"? Write "heal/repair" instead. Page 8: Game manages units, which move randomly place buildings randomly build buildings randomly find resources randomly go to resources using pheromones Better write: Game manages units randomly, which place buildings (do they?) construct buildings find resources (really?) move randomly - unless they go for resources using pheromones Page 9: A good place to emphasize the importance of graphic designers for game development ;) Page 10: "cross-plateform" It is "cross-platform" - without 'e' "Units still have their own lives, but the player has a broader range of actions." I'd prefer: "Although units retain/(still have) their own lives, the player has a wider range of actions now" ... "upgrades/repairs" If you put "upgrade/repair" together here, you should think about doing this also on page 7. "sets the number of workers" Better "sets the number of units" - think of war/exploration flags. "The resulting gameplay is innovative, and displays promising directions of extension." I always prefer three points in enumerations: "The rusulting gameplay is innovative, highly extensible and fun." or: "The rusulting gameplay is innovative, efficient and highly extensible." Swap pages 10 and 11. The People will have a better impression of glob2 after seeing this picture. In the current order, everyone will have the old graphics in mind, when you tell them about the big improvements from glob1->glob2. The human mind is not logical, it is psychological! Put the image first and right after the glob1 image. You can't give a better impression of improvement, no matter how well you talk. I'd like to see one of leo's clouds and an explorer on the picture. Page 13: Why do you have "boost" twice? Page 20: We have other gradient-types too: resource, forbidden-zone-exiting, ... Page 21ff: We have multiple gradient-construction algorithms. Page 28: "graphisms" Is that a real word? Also: coding, composing music, testing, ... - as on our homepage "The Globulation 2 community needs you!" Picture of uncle sam, please! http://www.wickedsunshine.com/WagePeace/Rights/Images/WickedSunshine_UncleSam_Blank_800x1000.png http://trouble.philadelphiaweekly.com/archives/want%20you.jpg If you need to reduce size, reduce the quality of the ant-picture. Page 30: "artists are worst": Sounds bad. write: "especially artists" Page 32: "In the future" 3D graphics. > The presentation itself is currently not open source nor freely to distribute > as I would prevent its current spread. In the future, would you want it in > the mercurial repository along its sources? Nice idea! So in upcoming talks by other glob2-devs your work could be reused easily. I don't think that this is realistic, but theoretical this makes sense. But I'd prefer an extra repository. Most of our users/developers won't use it. If you don't want an extra repository on your server, you could use a public server - there are a few now. I haven't checked their policies, but at least launchpad.net should work - though laurchpad uses bzr instead of hg. -- Kai Antweiler
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