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Wow, Spook, These were wonderful!!! Did you write all of this yourself? Larry ----- Original Message ----- From: "Georgia Trehey" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Thursday, January 10, 2002 9:46 PM Subject: [COUPERS] WARNING: OFF TOPIC- Humor-Osama Jokes (fwd) > ----[Please read http://ercoupers.com/disclaimer.htm before following any advice in this forum.]---- > > > > > "What we know about Osama bin Laden is this -- he's worth $300 > million, he has five wives and 26 kids .... and he hates Americans for > their 'excessive' lifestyle." > -- David Letterman > > > "More and more details coming out now about spoiled rich kid Osama > bin Laden. Time reports this week he was one of 52 kids. Mother must be > exhausted This guy inherited $80 million at age 13 and has since > expanded it to $300 million through construction, smart investments and > gas and oil investments. This way, he can use the money in his war > against capitalism." > -- Jay Leno > > > "You read about all these terrorists, most of them came here > legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as > 10-15 years.. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late > with a video and these people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in > charge of immigration." > -- Jay Leno > > > "More and more facts coming out about Osama bin Laden. You know, > he never sleeps in the same place two nights in a row... just like > Clinton." > -- Jay Leno > > > "This Osama bin Laden guy, spoiled rich kid worth $300M. I have > three words for his guy: Anna Nicole Smith. We send her over there. > She'll get his money. He'll be dead in a week." > -- Jay Leno > > > "It was reported today that Osama Bin Laden has 50 brothers and > sisters. Which absolutely shocked me because I had no idea he was > Catholic" > -- Conan O'Brien > > > "CBS News finally received anthrax in the mail. As usual, we're > number three." > -- David Letterman > > > "Things have really changed here in Hollywood. Used to be people > in this town couldn't wait to get an envelope full of white powder." > -- Jay Leno > > > "I don't mean to harp on this, but it's like the networks are a > how-to manual for terrorists. You see them on the news. This reporter > is standing outside a water treatment plant, going, 'If they poured the > poison right here it could wipe out thousands because the guard is off > duty from noon until 1 every day!'" > -- Jay Leno > > "The FBI is urging all Americans to beware of any letters or > packages that have badly misspelled words. Man, this is going to be > terrible news for the rap industry." > -- Jay Leno > > > "In Pakistan anti-American protesters set a Kentucky Fried > Chicken restaurant on fire. The protesters mistakenly thought they were > attacking high-ranking U.S. military official Co lonel Sanders." > -- Jimmy Fallon on Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update > > > "Tomorrow night on NBC a very special episode of West Wing, it > makes a direct reference to what happened in New York City. The exact > plot is being kept top secret. We are the only country in the world > where we put our battle plans on CNN, but the plots to our TV shows are > top secret." > -- Jay Leno > > > "Pakistan's ruler Pervez Musharraf predicted the Taliban will > fall for hiding Osama bin Laden. Ex-king Zahir Shah is standing by to > replace Mullah Mohammed Omar. And the most ominous sign of all, > President Bush has learned all their names." > -- Comedian Argus Hamilton > > > "There was a rumor that Jesse Jackson was going to go over there > to talk with the Taliban; apparently they were having trouble rhyming > the word Jihad." > -- Jay Leno > > > "Now this really annoys me: All these people getting on the > Internet and saying Nostradamus predicted this. If Nostradamus were > alive today his name would be Miss Cleo and he'd be charging $2.99 a > minute." > -- Jay Leno > > > "U.S. Government has said they are now going to go after the > terrorist's electronic banking system. You know what they should > do? They should transfer bin Laden's funds to my bank. They'd mess up > his deposits, screw up his statement and nickel and dime him to death > with service charges." > -- Jay Leno > > > "People want to say there isn't racial profiling at the airport, > but let's be honest. If your first name is Mohammed, and your last name > isn't Ali, arrive at the airport extra early." > -- Jay Leno > > > ==^================================================================ This email was sent to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] EASY UNSUBSCRIBE click here: http://topica.com/u/?aVxiLm.aVzvvT Or send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] T O P I C A -- Register now to manage your mail! http://www.topica.com/partner/tag02/register ==^================================================================
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