>
> 3. i delete their incoming email from my inbox because i no longer need it
> ...
>
**** i have not physically deleted anything from sent items - why would i
> do that???? if i did i would definitely remember!!
>

I agree with Zack.  Once you send a reply, the reply instantly becomes part
of the Conversation with the original message.  When you delete using the
trash can button along the top, you are deleting the Conversation.  That's
how Gmail works.

To delete *only* one individual message while leaving the rest of the
Conversation intact, you must use the drop-down menu in the upper right
corner and select "Delete this *message*."

Alternatively, go to Settings > General and select "Conversation view off."
 Then your actions affect individual messages only.

If you don't believe that you did this to yourself, try skipping your step
#3.  I can pretty much guarantee that your problem will vanish.

You could also visit your Trash, where you would have found your replies
along with the original messages (until you empty the Trash or the normal
30 day wait period runs out).

I can understand your frustration, but I don't understand why you are so
inconsistent with yourself.  First you said "Sent items *definitely
100%*disappearing from Gmail," but then you said "this
doesn't happen in all cases."  So which is it?  And then there was the
oxymoron "i am just using the normal gmail web interface with IMAP."

Andy

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