Got a SMS message yesterday on my mobile from my young friend Cliff
Sequeira "JOIN DA FLASH MOB PNJM 10TH EVNG".
Now three things I cannot understand:
(a) When SMS allows you 165 characters per message why do people have to
use cryptic short forms
(b) Why do people type a SMS message or E-mail in ALLCAPS when they can
type in Regular Upper Lower Case. ALLCAPS sounds like someone screaming in
your ear. It's downright deafening! And rude!
(c) Why are youngsters like Cliff quick to copy stupid meaningless fads
from the decadent West. Whereas in those very same countries the trend is
to learn from the mystic East. Stuff like Yoga, Feng Shui, Transcendental
Meditation, Vipassana, Kama Sutra and Boom Shankar. Not very sure what that
last one means, but I hear lots of foreigners saying it.
So I phoned up Cliff to give him a piece of my mind.
Cecil: Hello Cliff! What's this about a flash mob at Panjim tomorrow? Are
you the main organiser.
Cliff: No! My girlfriend Shalini roped me in. Her class mate Natasha is the
leader. I think. You remember Natasha at Nirmal's 21st Birthday party don't
you? Natasha, the one with the big..."
Cecil: Sure! Sure! Big-mouth Natasha. She sure can speak non-stop!
Cliff: And everyone has to get five more people in for this flash mob..
Cecil: Something like Multi Level Marketing?
Cliff: I suppose so. What is Multi Level marketing anyway? Like buying a
Magnetic Mattress? Shalini's rich aunt has one, and is always persuading
everyone to come for some meeting in Porvorim.
Cecil: Forget Multi Level Marketing. Cliff do you even know what a Flash
Mob is?
Cliff: Lisa explained to me. We all meet at a specific place and do some
crazy action. And then we disperse. I suppose it's like a morcha.
Cecil: A morcha has a specific purpose. It is a form of protest and does
not get over in seconds. The participants are not anonymous.
Cliff: Whoa? Don't get all serious on me. This flash mob is a fun thing.
Cecil: A mob is fun?!!! Remember the train carnage in Godhra. That was a
mob. Remember the Best Bakery killings? That was a mob. A mob is fueled by
unethical leaders who prey on, and further inflame, people's fears and
negative sentiments. Remember the protestors who were all set to castrate
the falsely accused boys in the alleged Art College Rape? That was a mob.
Where are these people now? What's happening about the alleged rape nearly
five months later? How come everyone is silent? Has the mob dispersed?
Senseless people who can't think beyond their immediate sense of outrage.
People who cannot think logically and get carried away by misguided
emotions. That's a mob!
Cliff: Why's it called a Flash mob then? We have to carry cameras?
Cecil: You don't know what 'flashing' means?
Cliff: No!
Cecil: Remember last year at Wimbledon how a female stripped of all her
clothes and ran completely nude across the tennis court?
Cliff: That's a flasher?
Cecil: No, that's a streaker. A flasher is fully clothed and just exposes
his or her private parts momentarily and then resumes normal activity. Like
you pulled your trunks down for a second and showed your bum to everyone
last year at Lulu's picnic at Vagator. Remember?
Cliff: Sheeeet! I have to do that again? In front of strangers? I thought
that was called 'mooning'?
Cecil: Depends on which part... forget it! Cliff, I was just kidding.
Flash, in this case, refers to the speed at which the mob congregates and
then disperses. Unlike a conventional mob, a flash mob groups and disperses
in a matter of a few seconds. And I was also kidding about the violence.
Flash mobs are peaceful and fun and do not indulge in anything illegal or
violent.
Cliff: So why you not coming? Why you discouraging me from going?
Cecil: How many people are going to be there?
Cliff: At least 500. That's what Natasha told Sonali.
Cecil: You people are really bekar. If you can get 500 people to collect at
one venue for a cause why don't you use all those energies to do something
that will benefit the whole community? Unlike in the affluent West, there
is so much that can be done here.
Cliff: Like what?
Cecil: Clean up the beach. Collect empty plastic bottles. Entertain the
aged. Teach the children. Feed the poor. How many more activities do you
want me to list?
Cliff: C'mon yaar. This is all in fun. Don't get all moralistic.
Cecil: I have nothing against fun. I revel in fun. But this is a total
waste of energy and organizational effort that can be better channelized.
It has no place in a society like ours. You young people have so much extra
energies.Why don't you do something that benefits society too?
Cliff: Maybe next time. I will speak to Natasha. By the way the Press is
going to be there. Every newspaper and magazine will send two reporters and
a photographer. Plus Doordarshan and all the private channels.You might see
my face on TV.
Cecil: As long it's only your face and not your backside. Ha! But I thought
flash mobs were anonymous and secretive. And you people are calling in the
Press?
Cliff: Arre baba!. This is Goa yaaar!. Small place. Nothing can remain
secret for long. Besides these days the Press in Goa has been banned from
publishing anything controversial, so they're pretty much bekar and will
cover anything. Natasha's got her niece's fancy dress photos in all the
papers recently. And they're planning to move the 'Child swims across
Mandovi River' section to the Front Page. Only mediocre news is allowed now.
Cecil: So what time is this thing on 10th evening, and where?
Cliff: We're planning to meet at the Municipal Garden at around seven o'clock.
Cecil: Around seven o'clock? No exact time?
Cliff: How many times do I have tell you this is Goa maaan! Nothing starts
exactly on time. So we are using Ethel D'Costa's Daniel Pearl Concert as
the backdrop for our flash mob.
Cecil: This is definitely a new approach. You are going to meet at a Peace
Concert?
Cliff: Yes. We are going to gather on the left side of the stage. We have
insider information that somewhere mid-way through the concert Margaret
Mascarenhas, is going to give her famous rendition of 'Summertime"
on-stage. The moment she starts singing we're all going to all shout
"Sound! Sound!". This will send Audio Chris running to his equaliser to
increase the volume on the left hand speakers and Margaret is sure to stop
singing for a while as the adjustments are made.
Cecil: Ha! A Mid-Summer halt! Then what?
Cliff: Then in the silence we're all going to hold hands, huddle in a
circle, look down at our feet and sing the first few lines of the classic
Lennon peace song "Imagine".
Cecil: Why only the first few lines?
Cliff: Nobody know the whole song. We tried it at Remo's 50th Birthday
Concert but nobody could go beyond the first few lines and in the confusion
somebody hijacked the mob and started the Mando "Tamdem Rosa..." which the
whole crowd joined in, and it robbed us of our sense of victory. A flash
mob has to be exclusive. After singing two lines of "Imagine" we will stop
abruptly and just pretend nothing happened and let Margaret carry on with
her "Summertime". And we're not going to disperse very far. Just un-group
and mix with the rest of the audience. We all plan to enjoy the Daniel
Pearl concert too!
Cecil: This is indeed a Goan twist to a flash mob. Anything else you care
to tell me?
Cliff: Rajan Narayan is going to lead the singing.
Cecil: Why Rajan Narayan?
Cliff: Rajan helped Natasha get her niece's Fancy Dress pictures in all the
papers. Now he's calling old favours in. He needs all the mileage he can
get. Besides, he's leaving the Herald on the 10th of October and going to
be bekar too. Like most of us!
Cecil: See you at the concert Cliff!
==============
http://www.goa-world.com/
Everything Goan!
##########################################################################
# Send submissions for Goanet to [EMAIL PROTECTED] #
# PLEASE remember to stay on-topic (related to Goa), and avoid top-posts #
# More details on Goanet at http://joingoanet.shorturl.com/ #
# Please keep your discussion/tone polite, to reflect respect to others #
##########################################################################
