Augusto Pinto's article is an excellent attempt at capturing a complex
phenomena that has existed among the Goan community for a long time. I liken
the Portuguese-Goan relationship to one that exists between a divorced
couple. The more one tries to disassociate with the ex-spouse or cast a
shadow on old relationship or argue how "wrong" the marriage was in the
first place, the more one ends up invoking the presence of the ex-spouse in
their present. So it is with us Goans (Hindus or Christians). The more we
talk about things Portuguese the greater prominence Portugal attains in our
lives.
I have personally dealt with this issue by accepting it just the way it is,
because I cannot undo what has already been done. And I don't see what
happened in history as being strictly bad or strictly good. It just was.
Changing my name from DeMelo to Desai for example, will not make me any more
accepted among the Goan Hindu community. Their existing opinions about
me(good, bad or indifferent) will not change. If anything, it shows that I'm
uncomfortable with or insecure about who I am. Neither will adopting more
Portuguese mannerisms enhance my standing among the native Portuguese. For
them, I'm still a Goan of Indian origin, not a Portuguese. Even if I have a
acquired a Portuguese passport, I'm a Portuguese national, of GOAN origin
from INDIA. Accepting this complex reality over which I have little control,
is I have found, the best way to deal with this issue.
Another point, not directly related to this topic. It is totally alright
with me that Goans should excecise their right to obtain Portuguese
citizenship solely for the purpose of improving their economic status just
as the Portuguese came to Goa motivated primarily by commercial interests.
The intellectuals, the politicians, the communal elements and the teatrists
can debate till the cows come home. It really doesn't interest me or impact
the way I feel or live. It does make interesting reading though, purely from
a literary perspective.
Jaime DeMelo (Proud to be me. A product of Goa before Dec. 19, 1961).
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