Joao I read your Piece in ISSUE 664 on Banana TREES ....Really TREES ...you mean trees with branches. Need to brush up your Botany. Still
Dear Joao: My Uncle who lives in Planet Mars knows that I live in URT. That also in URT, which informally people call Tanzania, the Great Banana eaters are the Wahaya, the Wachagga and the WaSauti in the South. They happen to be extremely smart because real ripe Bananas are fuel for the brain. In 20 minutes the sugar is in the brain and it gets down to work. Maths, Poetry, drama etc become easy like dezi (Swahili for bananas ..there are more than 250 varieties even red ones, sweet one etc etc) My Uncle the Martian, whom I met in Los Angeles in 1964 also knows I am a Goan and drew attention that many people mistake Mkono ya Tembo, translated into English means Elephants Hand are not bananas but plantains. Yes each plantain can weigh 900 grams. In Goa they grow the plantains in the Saligao area. The problem is that people eating them are on a very slippery path ….when they fall they might really injure their brain and will have to be locked up ….put in a straight jacket and all that. I read your ODD to the Banana. I think you wanted to write an ODE. Shakespeare also had some same awareness so he wrote Mid Summer Madness. The banana was not known in UK so perhaps he was born slightly POTTY. You know the famous lines “to be or not to be” He really tied himself in a suicidal knot. Ditto R & J. ie plot is same location changes from Denmark to Italy. I can almost predict what my Uncle from Mars will recommend: 1) We all know that you love bananas …in fact you frequently walk along Banana Avenue 2) So don’t worry about cyclonic winds….take care of Nama the Toad. Even the French won’t even sniff at them. 3) Of course the banana TREES in your garden should have a trunk…not a suit case (Honestly you do not need to file a suit….Cases in Goa takes forever. The Ponos, Tamerind have stems with branches ….the banana has leaves for stems. 4) Do Goans have a culture of banana art, banana alcohol, banana to increase the milk supply of lactating mothers? 5) Did you really mean a LONG happy smile ….My Uncle The Martian actually firmly believes that fellows who have a long permanent smile definitely needs consult the brain/doctor immediately. 6) My Uncle The Martian knows about us Goan netters and is prepared to take us to Mars. He is scheduled to Arrive and Depart on the same day on 11 Feb 2121 7) So please keep eating bananas, smile after reading this piece PS The Bugandas are also great MUNANA (Plural for Banana!) eaters…the call the goey dish matoke and it is eaten with a relish of flying ants. Could be crunchy crispy fried or made into a yummy curry. Neither Iddi da Amin nor Mussa de Vaini was/is a banana eater and look what a mess Iddi performed with the help of the British a revolution which backfired . If Boris’s grand dad had eaten a Banana or Too in Turkey there would not have been such a mess in UK.
