To Goanet - Yesterday was a red letter day in Panjim's history. I accompanied the eminent mathematicians, Mayor Tony Rodrigues & Commissioner Gadkar, in their quest to find a solution to the bhelpuri gadde along the river promenade. It was in essence an exercise in combinatorial optimization: In how many ways can 12 gadde be grouped into 'm' stations each containing 'n' gadde such that public encroachment and loitering are minimized? To this layman, the answer was obvious: One (reduce the number of gadde to zero). But that would have reduced the hafta to zero as well, and that's a no-no for our corporators.
The wheels in mathematician Tony's mind began turning furiously as did his arms: "How if we put 3 gadde THERE and remove 1 from HERE and shift him farther down, or combine him with the omelette gaddo which operates only after 8 pm?" And on and on it went. The only wrinkle was, citizen-bab wanted the number 12 to shrink to 6 and was adament about it despite the mathematicians' fervent pleas that we not tweak the overall count. I was told we could not violate the well-known law of physics, the Law of Conservation of Bhelpuri Gadde (known in Economics textbooks as the Law of Conservation of Hafta). We learnt that a total of 85 gadde have been issued licenses to operate in Panjim (guess how many of them are issued to Goans?). Citizen-bab stuck to the number 6 and Mayor T invoked the conservation law. We were at an impasse. Finally Mayor T cut through the logjam when he realized that Conservation of Bhelpuri Gadde can be made consistent with the Law of Conservation of Mass. Which is to say, if gaddo A vanishes from HERE, mass conservation demands that it appear at some other place. So the cavalcade was off to Miramar to scout for space for the displaced gadde. The Mayor moves in style flashing the handsome red car-light perched atop his vehicle. We also had the Enforcement Squad (ES) follow us (more on the ES later). Mayor T had a brainfart or two in Miramar as well, one of which included filling up some area by the side of the road so that a few additional gadde could be mounted. The care & attentioin showered on the UP bhaiyyas' welfare was touching. By the time I finished explaining geometry to the Mayor - something about drawing rectangles and creating parking slots for gadde - he remembered he had to attend church! The Commissioner took over. We were now back in Panjim to re-vector the gadde there. Did I mention that the ES picked up a paan-wallah on the way back? All very nicely staged for citizen-bab's benefit. Finally, citizen-bab decided he had had enough. "6 and no more," was the final offer. Later I heard from my driver that the ES was freeloading on bhelpuri from the gadde. More 'extractors' these, than 'enforcers.' Bottomlime: this is a decaying society where every fellow at every level is looking to extract his gram of flesh, consequences be damned. For Panjim and for Goa, the signs are very ominous: the CCP et al actively recruit migrants who are both a source of hafta and a source of votes, knowing fully well that the comatose Goans pose no threat to their fraudulent schemes. Regards, r
