Cheers Dears: The Chalis Chors Crash
By Augusto Pinto I was waiting to pick up my wife Bibian outside the school where she teaches. There was still some time for the final bell to go. It was story time and since I had nothing better to do, I decided to listen too. She said," Children I'm going to tell you about Ali Baba and the Chalis Chors" Akhil's voice popped up,"But Teacher we already know the story. Why don't you tell us about Digubab and the Chalis..." Bibi said firmly,"No Akhil, it's going to be Ali Baba... Anyway, since you know it please tell us the story?" Akhil replied,"But Teacher, it's a faltu story." She said,"Why Akhil?" He replied,"Teacher, it's absurd. It's about these chors who hide their treasures in a cave. Tell me, Teacher, which self respecting chor will hide treasures in a cave?" Then where should they have hidden it, Akhil?" Akhil replied sagely," In a Swiss bank account or in benami property deals or in the stock market, Teacher" I remembered my wife mentioning that her favorite student was a Chartered Accountant's son and as with many Indians the skills ran in the family. My wife said,"Hmm...Is that all you have against the story, Akhil?" "No Teacher, the ending is also rubbish" "Why Akhil?" He replied,"The chors hide in oil jars and Ali Baba's servant girl pours hot oil on them and kills them. Can you believe this, Teacher?" She said, "Akhil, do you have a better way of ending the story?" Before he could answer Coralie piped in,"Teacher, we could put them in a big pleasure-dome like building, situated close to the sea, in Alto Porvorim say, and then have a great big cyclone, which will drown all the chalis chors." Seema said," I think a tsunami would be better Teacher, because nowadays chors build buildings which have the latest safety features. A giant tsunami would be able to break down the toughest building." Young Siddhesh opined,"I think an earthquake of about 8 on the Richter scale would be much better. That way all the chors would be buried alive under the rubble." Akhil said," Have you all gone mad?" My wife said," What's wrong with their suggestions, Akhil?" He replied,"Tsunamis and earthquakes might wipe out a few of the chors, but it'll kill so many innocent people too, Teacher. Besides one has to be God to start tsunamis and earthquakes" The wife said, "Does anyone have a better suggestion?" Trivik said, "I know, Teacher. We could have a terror strike. When they're sitting in their pleasure dome someone could toss a few hand grenades on them. That would wipe them all out." The wife said, "Are you happy with this solution, Akhil?" Akhil replied, "Teacher, Bapu, the Father of our Nation, said that violence is not a good thing. This terror strike would be against his principles. Besides, death is too good a fate for these chors. and after they die more chors will emerge." Bibi said,"Maybe, Akhil but still there's the problem of how you will end the story" Said Myra,"How about doing Satyagraha and going on hunger strikes and dharnas in order to change their hearts?" Precocious Akhil, replied," No they're immune to such methods. The only solution is a Crash" Obviously the teacher training course hadn't prepared her for such wisdom. My increasingly bewildered wife gasped,"Crash? What do you mean, Akhil?" "We've got to engineer a stock market crash. Then there must be a run on all the banks world-wide so that the Swiss banks crash. The property market and the bullion prices must crash. All currency must become worthless. That would wipe out all their wealth, and with that their power will end. After the Crash they'll become paupers. Then they would have to beg as they can't work. Imagine watching them cringe and crawl. Wouldn't this be a great end to the story of the Chalis Chors, Teacher? Seeing the creeps who make the life of the people miserable get a dose of their own medicine?" I'm not sure what she thought, but I was really impressed by the wisdom of our youth. Till next time then Cheers Augusto ........................................................................................................................................... This article was published in the Herald, Goa of Wednesday, 6 August 2008. -- Augusto Pinto 40, Novo Portugal, Moira, Bardez, Goa, India E [EMAIL PROTECTED] or [EMAIL PROTECTED] P 0832-2470336 M 9881126350