The following essay by Indian humorist Melvin Durai is
funny and yet exposes India's chronic inability to
develop world class athletes - except in cricket -
from among over a billion people, whereas tiny and
relatively poor countries like Jamaica, the Bahamas,
Trinidad & Tobago, Kenya, Cuba, and many others,
produce them year in and year out.
>
Even Bahrain!! Yes, Bahrain!!
>
When some Indians, who produce thousands of
intellectual athletes, preen about being a superpower
in the near future, doesn't this sound like a pathetic
joke after watching these last Olympics and what China
has achieved in a relatively short period, after
awakening from and rejecting years of crushing
economic Marxism?
>
Melvin Durai is a Winnipeg-based writer and humorist.
Born in India and raised in Zambia, he has lived in
North America since 1982. Through the Internet, his
column is read by thousands of people in more than 90
countries. This week's column hits the bull's eye!
(pun intended)
>
'THE SHOT HEARD AROUND THE WORLD'
>
In case you missed the news, in case you were sleeping
under a rock or just got released from Guantanamo,
India won its first-ever individual gold medal at the
Beijing Olympics, causing 1.1 billion people to jump
up and down with joy, touching off a minor earthquake
in California and a major interruption in tech
support.
>
Yes, an Indian man won an Olympic gold medal -- and
without all his opponents getting injured. Abhinav
Bindra, a 25-year-old from Delhi, won first place in
the 10m air rifle event, beating 50 other shooters,
including that great Albanian marksman Imer Gudschot.
>
So excited were members of the Indian Olympic
Association, so taken in this moment of high-fives and
champagne-popping, that some of them checked the
official medal table to see if India had moved past
America. No such luck, of course, but that didn't stop
Indians from celebrating like it was the greatest
Olympic achievement ever. And who can blame them?
After all, it was their first individual gold medal
since India began competing in the Olympics more than
a century ago, back in the days when 'catapulting' was
an official sport.
>
'The drought is over!' screamed one newspaper's
headline, causing even more celebration across the
land, particularly in the farming community. It was a
shining moment for India on the world's greatest
sporting stage. As one Indian politician eloquently
put it, 'Abhinav Bindra has shooted us all into
glory!'
>
Almost everyone in India , from the Prime Minister to
the church minister, heaped praise on Bindra. Even
members of the Indian Astronomers Association,
attending a convention in P une, took a break from the
proceedings to applaud the 'shooting star.'
>
Congratulatory messages poured into India from all
over the world. U.S. presidential candidate John
McCain, hoping to endear himself to Indian-American
voters, sent a congratulatory card that he said was
'from one straight shooter to another.'
Indian legislators debated a motion to celebrate Aug.
11 every year as Gold Medal Day. They voted down a
proposal to display Bindra's medal at a national
museum in Delhi, amid fears that the building would
not be able to handle the millions who would come to
view it.
>
The excitement and celebration may have seemed
overblown, but not to Indians. 'P eople around the
world may not know this,' a Chennai man said, 'but we
Indians really love gold!' Bindra's victory, combined
with shooter Rajyavardhan Singh Rathore's silver medal
at the 2004 Olympics, is expected to increase the
popularity of shooting in India , drawing thousands of
youngsters to shooting competitions and exhibitions
during breaks from cricket.
>
'We want shooting to be more popular in India,' said
sports administrator Baljit Singh, 'but not as popular
as it is in America .'
>
Hoping to match the success of TGC (The Golf Channel)
in America , media mogul Rupert Murdoch announced that
Indian viewers would soon be treated to TSC (The
Shooting Channel). It's expected to feature various
shooting competitions from around the world, as well
as reruns of the American shows 'Gunsmoke' and 'Have
Gun Will Travel.'
>
Rajesh Patel, who has been hired as a TSC analyst,
said Bindra's victory will have a lasting impact in
India , even on sports announcing. "We're not going to
say that someone's performance is 'simply wonderful'
anymore," he said. "We're going to say that it's
'simply Bindraful.'''
>
Schoolchildren for years to come will learn about
Bindra, thanks partly to an Indian publisher who has
already put out a special alphabet book: 'A is for
Abhinav. Abhinav is first name of champion. B is for
Bindra. Bindra is surname of champion. C is for
Chapati. Chapati is food of champion.'
>
Bindra has not just earned a lifetime of adulation, he
has become India 's most eligible bachelor, receiving
a flood of marriage proposals. Said his proud mother:
'We have received proposals from North Indians, South
Indians, even West Indians.' Indeed, a Trinidad dairy
farmer with a 20-year-old daughter offered 1,000 cows
in dowry, but Bindra turned down the offer, saying he
doesn't want to milk his fame.
>
That pleased Indian sports fans, who want Bindra to
choose his bride carefully, believing that the
country's future Olympic glory rests partly on what
type of genes his children inherit. Some are even
dreaming of a match between Bindra and badminton star
Saina Nehwal, an Olympic quarterfinalist. But that
would be folly, according to one Indian scientist, who
said, 'If we match a badmintoner with a shooter, we
might end up with a badshooter.'
>
