Headline: Who the bleep cares about being an atheist? By Selma Carvalho Source: Goan Voice Daily newsletter 7 Nov. 2010 at www.goanvoice.org.uk
Full text: I hate kids - other people's. I thought motherhood would cure me of this affliction. Unfortunately, it had the opposite effect. I now despise kids. Part of my psychological wounding is brought on by the sad realization that motherhood is extraordinarily ordinary. Of course, there are moments of profound revelation and unparalleled joy with your child but more often than not the path of motherhood is strewn with utter, black, ugly boredom, the most mind-numbing of which involves making conversation with other mothers in the school-yard. Those of you with an aversion to so-called writers, consumed by unwarranted doses of intellectual hubris after the mild success of their first book - even if this success is real only in the confines of their own mind - stop reading now. It all started when the school sent home a circular saying that my tiny tot of five years would be instructed on Christian parables. Overcome by an indescribable fear that my five year old's mind would become polluted by such doctrinal propaganda, I thought I could rouse some support in the yard of Equally Concerned Mums. "What about this Christian education in school, eh?" I asked, fully expecting a chorus of dark and vehement nays. "Oh you don't have to worry, they teach about Islam as well." Thanks to my parents who named me Selma, and some combination of genes which determined I should have big, goggly eyes, I am often mistaken for a Muslim Indian. "No, no, you don't understand. I don't want her to learn about God at all." Three pairs of eyes, housed in bodies dressed in varying shades of red salwars, turned on me; obviously a British school, where the flat line of integration is non-existent and all manner of segregation is actively encourage. My group of fellow mothers-in-suffering, consists of Pakistani women and one Goan who has a serious cleaning disorder. "What do you mean?" Came a very shrill question bordering on hysteria, the type that brings to mind tall conical hats, witch-hunts and drownings in local ponds. Suddenly I wanted to inch away and run as fast as my arthritic knees would carry me. I could have told them I was a serial killer or a mum who locked her child in a closet, and I would have been greeted with much more empathy. But to deny the existence of God, was heresy in every shade of religion. "I mean I don't want my child to learn about a supernatural deity." "This is very strange. You don't believe in God?" muttered one. "Hmm" Was the general consensus. I could see their bodies moving away. Here was the anti-Christ herself wearing a brown coat clearly not suited for an English winter, a shaitan incarnate smelling faintly of greasy bacon, a Ravana who unnecessarily plagued Rama with issues of religious instruction in secular, state schools. I realize the world is not ready for scruffy looking Atheist Mums. I can't tell them why and how I came to be an atheist, a long drawn chart of which involves reading all the wrong books, probably banned in more than one or two religions. But for me, it isn't arrogance to be an atheist. It's a position of absolute humility, to acknowledge that I simply don't know the whole truth. The day I realized that this was the only position I could embrace with any amount of honesty, was a very mournful day bereft of hope. And now, obviously, I have to be like one of those caped superheroes, who has a secret identity. One revealed to themselves and the other the world at large finds acceptable. Do leave your feedback at [email protected] Selma Carvalho is the author of the book Into the Diaspora Wilderness http://selmacarvalho.squarespace.com/reviews-etc/ _/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/ _/ _/ tambdimati: the Goa review is a community blog of original _/ art, writing, music, news and commentary from and about the _/ smallest state in the subcontinent. check out the newest _/ member of the Goanet family daily at _/ http://www.tambdimati.com. _/ _/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
