StyleSpeak: Hum Maro Hum
By Wendell Rodricks
Where else could this movie be made in India? Look at the ingredients: a
remake of a hit song where the key word is a toke (of hashish/charas), a
sexy actress mouthing the words, hippies, parties, booze, drugs, mafia,
police, politics, a beach and a sketchy story connecting all of the above.
So, ahem, where can this be set? Definitely not Gujarat.
So Goa it is!
Yes the line that women are cheaper in Goa is objectionable and
unacceptable. And we Goans are sick of the stereotype drunks and loose
morals shown repeatedly in Bollywood films. Also unacceptable is the
director’s apology that the line will not be screened in India but sadly
cannot be deleted from the overseas prints. Why not? Maybe it is time
for the international Goans in Canada, the United Kingdom, the Middle
East and the Far East to stand up and ban Dum Maro Dum or the
objectionable line.
Valid protests apart, Goans and the Goa government have done little else
to enhance the state’s reputation. On the downslide for many years now,
it took a Bollywood no-brainer to get the Chief Minister to intervene.
But it is too late. Thanks to the hype and hysteria, everyone is now
hell bent on seeing what the fuss is about. DMD could not have asked for
a better PR machine. Suddenly there is a lot of curiosity over the movie
and the actors in the film. Deepika Padukone’s appearance in the
original Zeenat Aman singing role may help the movie. And if an airline
has stewardesses as sexy as Bipasha Basu, please twitter the name of the
aviation company. This is after all Bollywood and we go see these movies
with a sack of salt. The public may walk away from cinemas disappointed.
The only person enjoying the limelight is Abhishek Bachchan, who is in
desperate need of a hit. DMD may just give him that!
The last Bollywood portrayal of Goa was a lacklustre, melodramatic
Guzarish. I saw a neighbour watching the movie on a flight and went
through a few parts. After ten minutes, I was so bored with the pace
that I fast forwarded to the Goan shots of the rivers, beaches, Old Goa
and Divar island. The sets were so elaborate that it appears everyone in
Goa lives in houses that are palacios. We did not object to that…because
it looks so grand. But the film tanked at the box office. Even the
talented Hrithik Roshan and beautiful Aishwarya Rai did not save the
lyrical (digitalized) cinematography. And yes! Since it was Goa, I
presume, Aishwarya even put her lips to a cigarette for the first time
in her career. How come no one raised a stink that it is illegal to
smoke in public in Goa? Recall how Amitabh Bachchan was taken to court
for a similar ‘crime’?
Anyway, after Guzarish, Goa is back in the news.
Back to DMD.
Is Goan crime alien to us? Or are we simply afraid to acknowledge what
Goa is about in the mirror? While it is true that average Goans are far
away from the crimes of the coast, it is also hypocritical that the Goa
on screen does not exist. ‘Hum log’ scared to look at our open secrets?
Well… In the case of DMD, the movie has literally caused us to blame
ourselves for shooting ourselves in the foot. Hum Maro Hum.
Yes! It is true. We have given Goa this image that we now cannot accept.
For years now the state has rolled out an advertising campaign that
sends us on a holiday 365 days a year. Other clichés have followed. Even
though Portuguese is not taught in schools, the words are used liberally
in Goan ads. Often the spellings are wrong and history of monuments
contorted. As long as it sounds exotic to the average Indian, Portuguese
is the flavour of Goa. Ask anyone in the rest of India about Goans and
they will say (most often not derogatorily) “Goans are so sussegad”.
Please note the spelling is wrong and the grammar even worse. They also
love our homes with many “balcaõs”. When I correct them that the correct
word in plural is balcaões, they claim never to have heard this plural
version. On it goes.
We also have Goans who don’t know their state and invent history, rename
food preparations and gloat about our corrupt politicians, police,
garbage problems, real estate agents and decline of morality. Excuse me,
who are we Goan people talking about? Us Goans! We talk about ourselves
in this degrading tone as if we are talking about people from another
state.
Any surprise then that we have this new reputation of Goa? Blame a
film. But blame ourselves as well.
‘Hum Maro Hum’ is our deserving tribute to hitting ourselves bang on the
head! (ENDS)
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First published in Goa Today, Goa - May 2011
