VOTER STRATEGY (for the light-hearted)
SHE:BJP may not be corrupt, but they are not anti-communal.
HE:That means they are communal, is it not?
SHE:I didn’t say that, and don’t put words in my mouth.
HE:Then, why do you always talk in a negative manner and get me confused?
SHE:No, I don’t. I only balance a positive against a negative, and the result
becomes evenly balanced. That’s what I call a ‘ balancing act’.
HE:In that case, you should straightaway say: ‘they are not corrupt, but they
are communal’.
SHE:Of course I should, but I didn’t put it that way because I feared I might
hurt your RSS ideology.
HE:I am confused again. Are you then, for or against BJP?
SHE:I didn’t say either, and don’t ask me so bluntly, please. The truth is that
Congress uses me for a chatterbox, while BJP will be in my ballot box. For your
information, that is also called a ‘balancing act’.
HE:Does it mean that you have accepted Congress money to vote for a BJP win?
SHE:Shsh...don’t let others hear it. Politicians call it: ’double standard’,
but for voters it is ’double benefit’.
HE:But what will happen if Congress wins despite your vote for BJP?
SHE:No problem. One is corrupt and the other communal, and both cancel each
other. Nevertheless, if Congress wins, I will personally thank them very, very
profusely for their pre-election gift. And that will convince them that their
chatterbox had made the right noises. Hence, a door will open for the ‘second
benefit’. Moreover, my husband is in the mining industry, you know that, don’t
you?
HE:OK, but if BJP wins?
SHE: Then it will be another kettle of fish. As far as corruption is concerned
BJP dealt with it well the last time round, and I think they will do even
better this time. But the communal imbalance is what worries me, and I need to
pull another ‘balancing act’ out of the hat. Therefore, first of all I will
pull my husband (not a rabbit) out of the mining corruption, and insist that
he join me in ‘production’. That will help our community to get out of the
minority syndrome, and out will go communalism along with corruption. It may
not be a quick fix, but a way for Goan voters to expect a non-corrupt and
non-communal government. That will also be the ‘double benefit’, in case BJP
proves I had backed the right horse. And for your information, that will
definitely lead to the “CHANGE” which all Goans are clamouring for.
HE:Stunning strategy, Madam! Now I will go home and convince my wife also to
get into the ‘production mode’, if BJP wins. Otherwise I shall join your
husband in the mining business.
Bennet Paes
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