Source: GoanVoice UK http://www.goanvoice.org.uk/ By: Roland Francis -Sunday columnist The Adopted Ones - Stray Thoughts of a Toronto Goan Keeping poskos and poskems has always been an enigma in Goan society On the one hand the intention was usually good. Whether the child of a destitute relative, an illegitimate offspring of a villager, or a handicapped child of poor parents, the adopted child always found a home in a welcoming Goan house. Usually, more girls than boys were adopted. In Goan society, a boy was more favorably looked upon than a girl and unlike the girl had no problem being quickly taken in. There was also quite an arrangement among siblings and cousins. If one family had boys and no girl and the other had two or more girls, an exchange was hastily made at birth. It would have been very interesting to know what transpired during the negotiations that preceded such giving up of children. Were there any promises made, was the whole event furtively done, clouded with shame and quickly completed, or was there joy amid distribution of specially made sweets and clinking of feni filled glasses to the toasts of both giver and given? On the other hand, while the intention was faultless, the process was mostly flawed. Poskems were almost never treated as they should have been. In today’s world it would be difficult to imagine such a thing. Childless parents in Toronto spend fifty thousand dollars or more to bring adopted children, mainly just-born babies from China and Russia. Full legal adoption is completed once in Canada. The child gets the family name and a full share in whatever inheritance there may one day be. Comparison however would be unfair. Then was then and now is now. While she should have been treated like the family’s child, the poskem was actually treated like a servant. Relegated to the rear of the house, an area which included the well, the kitchen, the storeroom and the poultry and pig shelters, the poor girl knew nothing more than slave labor conditions. Grateful for what she had however, she happily lived in the household taking orders from both parents and children and giving back unwavering loyalty to the family in return. Very few thoughts were spared for this poor human being and she was taken completely for granted. Sometimes access to an education was haltingly given and in such instances, the poskem usually excelled. Parents were perplexed that the poskem came home with outstanding results in addition to doing all the housework allotted, while the other children in the family had to be constantly supervised to have them achieve even a fraction of the results she so effortlessly brought in. If jealousy played a factor at that stage, further education was discontinued. The poskem was rarely included in any property division and at her marriage time she was considered fortunate if she got the village idiot or the local drunk. But someone up there was looking out for the poskem. She ended up with a happy family, a decent house in the village and children, who having inherited her love for education, furthered themselves to levels that other children of the sponsoring household found difficult to reach. Most of all she did it while not having to go to Africa, the Gulf or anywhere overseas. Born of the Goan soil, she flourished in it, as if though rejected by people, she was blessed by the land. By Roland Francis, Toronto ([email protected])
