*Do not wait *to* **inscribe on the tombstone* “*Do not wait to inscribe on the tomb stone, for he will not read it then*” All of us often reserve our praises, stealthily, grudgingly till the person passes away, thinking that it would amount to flattery. We see all perfections in his personality, no faults, no flaws as an embodiment of perfect soul. The encouragement and positive reinforcement would definitely let the living person to strive to greater heights of glory, when the appreciation is in measured doses of sincerity and spontaneity .Funeral oratories have become a norm, though the Catholic Church, mercifully now restricts to one spokesman in the church. The family member or the close family, friend does the honours. In the past such a tradition depended upon the social standing and position of the person. Now it is a must and established custom. The family member in an attempt to thank, eulogises and exaggerates the qualities of the person and what he means to them .Surely these are personal observations of the family and they cannot be otherwise. What interest do the select mourners have, when they already know the person very closely and such talks are not for strangers? There is an endless list of thanking by names and even those celebrities, who are not present. Many times such a discourse of the family worth, seems outlandish and out of place ,thrust upon the gathering of mourners, who bear it quietly without open protest. The funeral oratories of popular and important people are now shifted to the cemetery The attendance and interest is not note worthy of mention, as the mourners prefer to leave as quickly as possible, without meaning any disrespect and considering the time spent on the event The obituaries immediately on death is another custom gaining moment, but the press will not publish nor oblige, unless the writer and the departed person is a prominent and popular figure. Flowers are perhaps the best way to express our sentiments and feelings, but the accompanying ribbons are being unfortunately collected for record are in poor taste, In some cases the flowers from the bouquets are distributed to the mourners, instead of using mud . Some do not believe in these final rituals and quietly leave or may not even enter the burial ground .The Church now does not permit, any elaborate monuments, permanent graves to the dead and there is a simple stone marking the grave and which are exhumed unfailingly after a period of 3 years. Decorations of the graves are also being discouraged, as the litter that is left behind is a nuisance. Still people will ornately decorate the graves, especially for all souls day, the months mind and up to 3 years., There is. competitors and prizes for the best decorated graves The Church is also encouraging the preservation of the remains in specially built niches, at a huge costs to those who can afford at the cemetery and selectively permits the remains to be taken out for private remembrance It is a point to be considered, whether the remains are sacred and to be adored The platform for lighting of candles at niches is being banned
How else do people perpetuate the memories of their departed loved ones Dead are[N1]<file:///C:/Users/Nelson/Documents/Do%20not%20wait.doc#_msocom_1> important, but the living are more important. The best way is to treat them with utmost care, respect and dignity when they are alive. Helping others in the memory of our loved ones. There is feeling of guilt , remorse and fear and our behaviour at times may be unconsciously related to these matters or public perception Offering of masses for the souls are not limited to any time frame and there organisations that book for masses on perpetual burs es Those that may not leave any offspring’s , find these arrangements assured during their life time. Building of monuments, framed photographs adorning the walls are a thing of the past , as their memory is buried in albums, CD`s, computer folders, rarely perused. Only the immediate family members will have deep sentiments for their departed loved ones and beyond that the interest and necessity is on the wane .Embalming is not an suitable option. On the third death anniversary some mementos with inscription of names or hymn books are donated to the church . Orphanages, old age homes are also recipient of donations in their memory .According to the custom among Catholics, beggars are entertained to a lavish meal on the occasion of wedding (BIKARANCHEM JEVON) The custom is almost extinct for the great difficulty of identifying such recipients and currently their atrocious demands. Instituting prizes, scholarships, financial aid to deserving students in Institutions including seminaries are other alternatives. There are family gatherings, celebrations with close friends, relatives, particularly up to the third death anniversary, occasionally the birthdays are also celebrated and remembered in the family .The question is up to how many generations the memories of the departed will be meaningfully recollected. ? Releasing of newspaper advertisements on birthdays and death anniversary by the family to remember them are in vogue, In stead of rushing to release advertisements on the death, they could be spaced in the following years The mountain of wreaths and flower bouquets could be reconsidered, as utter, avoidable waste on the occasion The voice of the dead is feebly audible, “I prefer to be honourable, rather than being honoured with all the meaningless fuss” I wish shedding of crocodile tears after my death, be spared for better purpose” Look at the coffin maker, the grave digger, the hangman, the deliverer of euthanasia they have no qualms about their services Can we all learn from them and accept the fact of life They have no tears for anyone however noble and prominent Nelson Lopes Chinchinim ------------------------------ [N1] <file:///C:/Users/Nelson/Documents/Do%20not%20wait.doc#_msoanchor_1> portant
