Oops! sorry about duplicate posting. on a bad connection. -oommen.
On Jan 10, 10:59 am, "Oommen C. Kurian" <[email protected]> wrote: > NAKED LUNCH: Blow Daddy > > http://dawn.com/weekly/images/images4.htm > > Daddy? > > Yes, son. > > Are we going to have a war with India? > > Perhaps. > > Oh, goody. We will thrash them, right? Like we did in 1857! > > It wasn't in 1857, son. > > Oh, okay. But whom did we thrash in 1857? > > The British, son… > > And the Hindus too, right? > > Well… > > Did Quaid-i-Azam fight in that war along with Muhammad bin Qasim and > Imran Khan? > > No, son. The Quaid and Imran were born much later and Muhammad bin > Qasim died many years before. > > Then who ruled Pakistan in those days? > > There was no Pakistan in those days, son. > > But there was always a Pakistan! It has been there for 5,000 years! > > Who have you been talking to, son? > > No one. I've just been watching TV. > > It figures. > > Daddy, why are all these people against us Arabs? > > Arabs? But we aren't Arabs, son. > > Of course we are because our ancestors were Arabs! > > No, son. Our ancestors were of the subcontinental stock. > > Sub-what? > > Never mind.You seem to like wars, son. > > Yes. I like to watch them on TV. > > But real wars are fought outside the TV, son. > > Really? How is that possible? What sort of a war is that? > > Never mind. > > Daddy, you look worried. > > Of course, I am, you little warmongering punk! > > Daddy! Why are you scolding me? > > Because TV is talking rot and so are you! > > Daddy, are you supporting Hindus? > > No! > > Daddy, have you become a kafir? > > Keep quiet! No more TV for you! Go watch a movie on DVD or listen to a > CD. > > Can't do that. > > But we have so many DVDs and CDs, son. > > Not any more. > > What do you mean? > > I burned them all. > > What?! > > I burned them all. > > I heard that! But why? > > They spread obscenity. > > Oh, God. Son, go do your homework. What happened to that science > project you were working on? > > It's almost complete. > > Good boy. What are you making? > > A bomb. > > What?! > > A bomb. > > I heard that! But why? > > Because I am a true Muslim who hates America. > > But only last week you wanted to go to Disney Land. > > That's different. > > How come? > > Mickey Mouse is Muslim. > > No, he isn't. > > Is so. He converted when he heard azaan on the moon. > > On the moon? > > Yes. Because the earth is flat and… > > What?? > > The earth is… > > I heard that! > > Daddy, do you want to see my science project, or not? > > Gosh, that bomb? But your science teacher will fail you. > > No, she wont. > > Really? > > Yes. I plan to blow her up as well. > > God, what is wrong with you? Go call your mother! > > She can't come. > > Why not? > > I've locked her in the kitchen. > > But what for? > > A woman's place is in the kitchen. I will not let her out until she > covers herself up peoperly! > > But she's your mother! > > She's also a woman! > > So? > > So she should be hidden. > > Hidden from whom? > > The whole world and Tony. > > Tony? > > Yes, Tony. > > But Tony's a cat. > > Yes. But he's male. > > Son, have you gone mad? > > No. By the way, I've made sure Kitto starts covering up as well. > > Kitto? > > Yes, Kittto. > > But Kitto's a cat! > > Yes. But a female cat. > > But she'll suffocate. > > Oh, she's already dead. > > What? > > She's already dead. > > I heard that! But how? > > I buried her alive. > > You what? > > Yes. To avenge Tony's honour. But now I will behead Tony. > > But why? > > To save mom's honour! > > Oh, God! > > Don't say that. Always say Allah. > > What's the difference? > > Daddy, do you want to be beheaded too? > > No! > > Do you want to be stoned to death? > > No! > > Do you want to be flogged? > > No! > > Do you want to get your arms chopped off? > > No! > > Then stop asking silly questions. By the way, I won't call you daddy > anymore. > > What will you call me then? > > Whatever that is Arabic for daddy. > > I don't know any Arabic, son. > > That's because you are a kafir. > > Who the heck are you to tell me who I am, you little fascist twit! > > What's a fascist? > > An irrational, violent, self-righteous mad man! > > W... aaaaaaa... > > Why are you crying? > > You scolded me. > > Okay, I'm sorry. You have to be tolerant and rational, son. Now be a > good boy and go read a book instead of watching TV. > > I have no books. > > Of course, you do. I bought you so many books. > > I burned them. > > What? > > I burned them. > > But why? > > They were all in English. > > So? > > It's a non-Muslim language! > > But we are speaking English, aren't we? > > W... aaaaaaa… > > What now? > > Zionists made me forget my Arabic. > > But you never knew any Arabic, son. > > W... aaaa… yes, I did until you and mommy gave me the polio drops… > aaaaa… > > Okay, tell me, can you do me a favour? > > Sure, dad. > > Can you blow up something for me? > > Oh, goody! Of course, dad. What should I blow? A CD shop, a hotel, a > school...? > > No, no, something a lot more sinister. > > Mom? > > No, no… > > What then? > > The TV set! > > What? > > Blow the TV set. > > I heard that! But why? > > Just do it! > > I see. Dad? > > Yes. > > You're so unconstitutional! > -- > > "The beginning is always today." > - Mary Wollstonecraft --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Green Youth Movement" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/greenyouth?hl=en-GB -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
