Oh, this is a funny one!!
> "Adrenalin - What Colour Is It Anyway?"
>
>
> Some of us wear BMW style two piece "open chin" helmets - you know
> the type - where the lower chin piece can be opened by pressing two
> thumb locks. Some people have also fitted their bikes with
> electronic cruise control or a version which operates on friction on
> the throttle - either way they hold the speed of the bike reasonably
> constant without any input from one's throttle hand. We also all
> wear gloves which invariably fasten around the wrist with either a
> velcro flap or a press stud; some of the more expensive types have a
> zip fastener as well, among other features.
>
> Picture if you will, one lone BMW rider with an opening chin helmet
> and a pair of good quality velcro fastened gloves sailing along the
> Hume Highway at 115 kph (that's all I'll admit to!!) dialled in on
> the electronic cruise control. Weather is good, no cars in the
> immediate vicinity, scenery is
> boring, no cops, life is good!! Junction of highway with
> Albury/Wodonga Road about 5 km away, no need to slow down yet; bike
> is running beautifully!! Looking forward to lunch.
>
> Bugger! Is that a bee that just got into my helmet through the small
> gap I've left for some fresh air? Could be. Well, I'll just open
> my helmet visor to let him out. Visor up ... no, the little bugger
> is going to be stubborn, cantankerous even! He's not going to leave
> and is now behind my
> sunnies, must be tired from all that pollen hunting. Don't want to
> be stung on the eyelid-I'll just open the chin piece on my BMW helmet
> (very handy) and get him out .... let go of handlebars .... squeeze
> the release buttons bike is nicely balanced and holding line well ...
> speed steady ... no cars ... this should be easy ... got the helmet
> open ... glasses off ... piss off bee! ... glasses on ... slam shut
> helmet ... hands back to bars ---- oh, sheeite! Thumbs of both
> gloves jammed in helmet!!! Gloves won't move even though I'm pulling
> like hell!!
>
> Wow, this will be interesting... can't quite press the release
> buttons with little fingers ... junction now 3.5 km away ... I know,
> I'll just pull one or both hands out of my gloves.... no, that
> doesn't work: "velcro is good stuff, won't come undone if you fall
> off!" I remember the salesman saying that. He was absolutely
> right, they're stuck fast, I'd have to tear my head off first .
>
> Well, next brilliant idea, what if I just touched the foot brake ---
> nooo, dumb idea! That won't work, this airhead beemer has great
> engine braking and when I get to about 40 kph and can't balance the
> bike any longer and the dreaded BMW boxer wheel-wobble starts, which
> it will, I am going to have major tank slappers --- sheeeiite!! I'll
> be off on my bum so quick and still hanging onto my helmet so tightly
> they'll have to bury me in it!! Won't do the bike much good either!!!
>
> Hell, I can see the junction up ahead about one and half k's away and
> I am really starting to get the wind up ... tense even ... certain
> parts are beginning to pucker ... if the lights change to red and
> that huge B-double waiting at the lights is in the middle of the
> intersection when I get there, jeeesus, I'm going to be a hood
> ornament next to that bloody chrome bull dog!! Must try and pull
> hands really hard ... can I make them any smaller
>
> ... 800 metres ... the left one is giving a little ... maybe the
> gloves are slipping on the sweat now pouring from every pore
>
> ... 600 metres yes, yes, that's it, they're wet with sweat ....... I
> am going to have to hit the footbrake in the next few seconds ...
> can't hit that @#$*&@ big truck at this speed, it might scratch his
> duco ... yes! yes! ripper! Got the left hand out ... now hit foot
> brake to cancel cruise, de-clutch and slow bike with foot brake ...
> steer for the shoulder ... slowing down ... slide foot... stop ...
> ease out clutch to stall bike ... side stand down ... switch off bike
> with left hand, right hand still glued to helmet ... tintops going
> past must think I've got toothache ... fall off into grass
>
> ...lay there for 5 minutes till the shaking stops and the adrenaline
> rush dissipates... now release helmet with left hand and remove sweat
> soaked head. Breathe out ---- shizer! Was that ever close! I'll
> buy a Tatts ticket in Albury!
>
> When I had recovered, I realised there were two observation here:
>
> No. 1: It's not a good idea to open or shut your helmet when on the
> move. and
> No. 2: Did you know, "adrenalin" is brown!!
>
