Saludos a todos, tenia varios dias de no saber nada de la lista, aqui esta
lo que les prometi a algunos hace unas semanas atras, espero lo disfruten
Hacker Humor: Evolution of a Linux
User
From: Nev Dull <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Forwarded-by: "Muli B.Y." <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
James Baughn wrote:
Evolution Of A Linux User
November 28, 1999
During the past year, the scientists in Humorix's Vast Research Lab
Of Doom have studied the behavior and attitude of the typical
Windows and Linux user. They have found that the average Linux
user goes through ten stages of development from a "Microserf" to
an "Enlightened Linux User". An eleventh stage, "Getting A Life",
has also been observed, but only on extremely rare occasions.
The 11 stages of evolution are summarized below. Note, however,
that this life cycle is not universal. Many pundits, Microsoft stock
holders, and PHBs never advance beyond Stage 0 ("Microserf").
Moreover, many extreme Slashdot addicts are stuck between
Stages 6 and 7 ("Linux Zealot") and never evolve to Stage 9
("Enlightened Linux User"). And, unfortunately, far too many
people are unable to leave Stage 8 ("Back to Reality") and achieve
Geek Self-Actualization due to problems outside of their control.
STAGE 0. MICROSERF
You are the number one member of the Bill Gates fan club. Your
life revolves around x86 computers running the latest version of
Microsoft solutions: Windows, Office, Internet Explorer, Visual
Basic, and even Bob. You have nothing but hate for those eccentric
Mac weenies with their click-n-drool interfaces and those
stone-age Unix oldtimers with their archaic command lines.
You frequently send angry letters to your elected representative
about Microsoft's "freedom to innovative". You think lawyers are
evil (unless they are defending innovative companies like
Microsoft). You own an autographed copy of a book that was
ghostwritten by Bill Gates. Your blood boils when somebody
forwards you a so-called Microsoft "joke" by email.
In short, you are a Microserf.
STAGE 1. FEAR, UNCERTAINTY, DOUBT... ABOUT
MICROSOFT
Your world-view begins to sour as you encounter a growing
number of annoyances with Microsoft products. The number of
Blue Screens increases, however you ascribe the problem (at first)
to conflicts with poorly written drivers that came with your
peripherals. Icons keep jumping around the desktop
unpredicatably. You spend 30 minutes one day idly searching for
an obscure configuration option in the Control Panel.
Slowly but surely, you begin to have doubts about the quality of
Microsoft software. Then, the Microsoft Network, to which you
have dutifully subscribed since 1995, begins to double bill your
credit card. You attempt to rectify the problem, but are stymied by
the burgeoning bureaucracy of Microsoft's Customer Support
Department. Fear sets in... will you get your money back?
Meanwhile, something called "Linux" appears on the fringe of your
radar. You immediately dismiss the idea of a viable and quality
Microsoft alternative (Linux is Unix-based and therefore must suck,
you conclude). Nevertheless, you wish something could be done
for some of the annoyances in Windows. But you do nothing about
it.
STAGE 2. FEAR, UNCERTAINTY, DOUBT... ABOUT
LINUX
You keep hearing about this Linux thing, and Open Source, and
Apache, and FreeBSD as well. One of your friends installs Linux
and says, "It's cool, dude!" You discover that the selection of
Windows books at your local bookstore has remained constant
while the Linux and Unix books are multiplying like rabbits. You
argue, "Well, this just means Linux sucks... if there was such a large
demand for it, there wouldn't be many books on shelves."
Nevertheless, as time wears on and Windows becomes more
fragile, the temptation to give Linux a try becomes more and more
irresistable. While at your local SuperMegaOfficeSupplyStore, you
pick up a boxed version of Red Hat on impulse.
With much hubris, you completely ignore the documentation and
attempt to install the OS by the seat of your pants. The installation
is a failure; Linux simply cannot work with the WinModem,
WinSoundCard, WinIDEController, WinPrinter, WinMonitor, and
WinDRAM that came with your "Windows 98 Ready" machine
from CompUSSR. You don't realize this however, since you didn't
read the FAQs and HOWTOs. You immediately blame the
problems on Linux and give up. You ditch your Red Hat copy by
selling it on eBay.
After the installation fiasco, you leave fearful, uncertain, and
doubtful about this "alternative" operating system. Windows may have its
problems, but Microsoft will fix them in the next upgrade, you
reckon.
STAGE 3. BORN-AGAIN MICROSERF
"Linux sucks" is your new attitude towards life. Windows, all things
considered, ain't so bad. You resolve to become a better Microsoft
customer by participating in the Microsoft Developer Network and
the Site Builder Network. You buy a bunch of "study guides" to
pass the MCSE examination.
You launch a Windows advocacy site on some dinky free webpage
provider, utilizing the latest innovations in VBScript, ActiveX, and
other IE-specific features. Instead of lurking, you now actively
participate in Linux and Macintosh bashing on various Usenet
groups. Upon discovering Slashdot for the first time, you assume
the role of the Bastard Anonymous Coward From Hell by posting
countless flamebait posts about how cool Microsoft is and how
much "Linsux" (as you call it) is a crappy OS.
You proudly wear an "All Hail Chairman Bill" T-shirt and display
numerous pro-Microsoft bumper stickers ("Honk if you hate
anti-trust laws") on your car. You never leave home without your
Windows CE-based palmtop computer. You make a pilgrimage to
Redmond to marvel at the glory that is the Microsoft Campus.
STAGE 4. DISGRUNTLED USER
Your Microserf ways come to an abrupt end when everything goes
wrong. You lose a vital work-related document to a Windows
crash. You lose your job as an indirect result. You find that
applying for jobs is difficult... everyone wants your resume in the
latest version of Word, but you have an older version that has an
incompatible file format.
You waste more and more time tinkering with Windows and other
Microsoft programs to keep them in working order. You encounter
serious problems with Windows, but your calls to technical support
only yield the dreaded response, "re-install the OS".
After much grief you finally land another job at a software
company, only to find out a month later that Microsoft has
announced a competing product to be "integrated" with the next
version of Windows. You soon lose your job.
You can't take it much longer. You are now an official Disgruntled
User, and are ready for a way to escape from the depths of
Microsoft Hell. You are ready for anything at all... even a primitive,
archaic, hard-to-install, grief-laden alternative like Linux.
STAGE 5. A RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE
You resolve to install Linux now, for real. Your friends say "It's
about time", and tell you to RTFM this time. After losing yourself in
the documentation for several days, you figure out why your
previous encounter with Linux was a disaster: you need real
hardware, not WinCrap.
With a new computer at your desk, and a Red Hat CD-ROM in
hand, you embark on a voyage of discovery to the land of Linux.
Your life is changed forever; words cannot describe the rush you
feel when you first log in as "root" after the successful installation.
You stare blankly at the screen in awe; you are unable to utter a
word, unable to think of anything elseexcept "HOLY SHIT THIS
IS SO DAMN COOL!!!!"
You spend hours, and then days, exploring the depths of the Linux
system: a filesystem layout that actually makes sense (no "My
Documents" crap), a command line so powerful it makes MS-DOS
look like the Stone Age technology that it is... and best of all, no
Blue Screen!
"Why have I wasted my life with Microsoft? I'm never going back!"
you exclaim wildly. You have thrown off the yoke of Redmond
Oppression.
STAGE 6. LINUX CONVERT
You still keep a copy of Windows around, but you find yourself
booting into Linux more and more. The meager amount of
diskspace you set aside for your first Linux install dwindles; you
decide to buy a second hard drive exclusively for Linux.
You re-install everything, including the kitchen sink (Emacs). Once
you finally get PPP working (it was a nasty challenge, but you're so
enamored with Linux that you hardly notice), you go on a
Freshmeat Binge: downloading and installing every piece of Free
Software you come across.
STAGE 7. LINUX ZEALOT
Your enthusiasm for Linux is unbounded. You do anything and
everything to advocate Linux and spite your old master, Microsoft.
Usenet, Slashdot, and LinuxToday are your hangouts. You have a
strong opinion about the GNU GPL and you're not afraid to share
it.
Linux World Domination is your new life's ambition; you put career,
wealth, and dating on the back burner. You participate in flamefests
against those braindead Windows lusers (stuck in Stage 3) that
inhabit Usenet and ZDNet. You purchase all kinds of tacky
made-in-Taiwan Linux merchandise (T-shirt, mouse pads, stuffed
penguins, etc.) to show your support.
You rearrange books in a bookstore so that the Linux tomes are
displayed more prominently. You get in trouble with your boss
because you spend all your time surfing Slashdot at work. You
petition your local government to migrate their computer systems to
free software. You move to another residence just so you can say
you live on Apache Street.
Instead of a novel, you read the Linux kernel source for pleasure.
You establish your own regional Linux User Group in the hope that
you can invite a guest speaker in the future and get their autograph.
You learn Perl with the goal of automating common tasks, but you
spend more time tinkering with "just one more perl script" than
actually getting stuff done.
STAGE 8. BACK TO REALITY
Your zealotry subsides as you are forced to re-enter the Real
World. Your boss demands that you submit documents in the latest
Word format, nothing else will do. Some of your favorite websites
become harder to use because they keep incorporating features
enhanced for Windows and IE. The new peripherals you bought
from BigEvilProprietaryCo don't work with Linux and probably
never will.
Your ISP is acquired by another company, a very
Microsoft-friendly company, to be exact. They "upgrade" the
system; however, the only change you can notice is that Linux and
PPP no longer work without extensive hacking. Then, citing
"customer-driven demand", your ISP makes more "enhancements",
and Linux no longer works at all. Calling their tech support is an
exercise in futility, they simply say, "Linux? What is that? Whatever
it is we don't support it, and never will. Go use Windows like
everybody else."
Reality sets in: you are forced to use Windows more and more.
Your blood pressure rises, you have more headaches, you waste
hours and hours due to Windows "issues", but you have no choice.
STAGE 9. ENLIGHTENED LINUX USER
Then you have an inspiration: you do have a choice, you can hack
your own drivers for your hardware, you can find another ISP, you
can get another job. Everything comes into focus, you have become
a Linux Guru.
You kludge together drivers for your "Windows-compatible"
hardware. You finally (after much searching) locate a local ISP
that's actually run by competent geeks, not MCSEs and PHBs.
You find a new, better job at a Linux-friendly company.
In your spare time, you work on various Open Source projects.
You build up a reputation and receive "The Letter" to participate in
the IPO of a Linux business. You join the bandwagon and create
your own Linux portal website.
You're at the pinnacle of evolution for a Linux user. With much joy,
you become 100% Microsoft free. You ditch your Windows
partition and burn all of the Windows disks and manuals that you
own.
STAGE 10. GET A LIFE
You become bored with Linux, and computers in general. You're
still a hardcore geek, of course, but you wonder if there isn't
something better you could be doing. You've been told to "get a
life" countless times during your existence on Earth, but now you
wonder if maybe you should have heeded that advice.
Unexpectedly, a media conglomerate (i.e. Andover, Ziff-Davis,
Internet.com, etc.) offers to buy your Linux portal website and
domain name for an obscene price that contains a significant
number of digits. Without hesistation you accept; this windfall,
combined with your earnings from Linux stocks, is enough to retire
on.
And that's exactly what you do. You move off to a small tropical
island, and get a life.
---
James S. Baughn
http://i-want-a-website.com/about-linux/
-
Humorix: Linux and Open Source(nontm) on a lighter note
Archive: http://humbolt.nl.linux.org/lists/
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