Abu Hurayrah
related that the Prophet (SAWS) said:
"The most perfect believer is he whose
conduct is best, and the best among you is he who behaves best towards his wife"
[at-Tirmidhi]
* He treats his wife fairly and decently.
* He
shouldn't let his study, work, hobbies, responsibilities or friends take up all
his time and keep him from her.
* Islam guarantees woman's rights to
enjoy her husband to the extent that it even tells the husband not to spend all
his time in worship. Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al 'As relates that the prophet (saws)
said:
"Have I not heard that you fast all day and stay up all night in
prayer?" Abdullah said, "That is true, O Messenger of Allah." The Prophet (Saws)
told him: "Do not do that. Fast and break your fast, sleep and get up. For your
body has a right over you, your eyes have a right over you, your wife has a
right over you, and your visitors have a right over you." [Al-Bukhari and
Muslim]
* He should treat his wife in the best possible way, with a
smiling face, tolerance, easy-going and light-hearted nature, and gentle humor.
Aisha (RA) reported that when she went on a journey with the Prophet (Saws),
she challenged him to a race and won. Later, when she had gained weight, she
raced him again, but this time he won, and he told her, "This is for that".
[sahih hadith narrated by Ahmed and Abu Dawud]
In another
report, Aisha said: "By Allah, I saw the Prophet (Saws) standing at the door of
my room, when some Abyssinians were playing with spears in the mosque. The
Messenger of Allah (saws) screened me with his cloak so that I could watch the
spear-play over his shoulder. He stayed there for my sake, until I had seen
enough. So pay attention to young girl's need for entertainment." [Al-Bukhari
and Muslim]
* Should make himself attractive to her.
* He does not
overreact and become angry for trivial reason [many ignorant husbands do,
creating chaos if their wives offer them food that they don't like, or if their
meal is late, or any other reason which usually causes an unnecessary amount of
anger, arguments and trouble between spouses].
* He has a deep and
compassionate understanding of his wife's nature and psychology.
*He directs
his wife towards the straight path of Islam
*He recognizes what she likes,
what she desires, her moods, and tries to reconcile between them and the ideal
life and behavior he wants for her.
*He understands his wife and
respects her feelings.
*He does not criticize her family or any of her
relations to her. (She shouldn't do this as well, of course)
*He does
not disclose any secrets that she entrusted him with.
*He helps her make up
for her failings and weaknesses. -for example, if she is lacking in
knowledge or manners, he should help her in a kind, gentle , and positive
manner. . He avoids harsh criticism [especially in front of people]. The true
Muslim is the most sensitive and respectful towards the feelings of
others.
*He knows how to strike a balance between pleasing his wife and
treating his mother with due kindness and respect. He tries not to offend either
one of them. He is not disobedient towards his mother or oppressive towards his
wife. He recognizes his mother's rights and treats her in the best way, while
also recognizing his wife's rights.
*He totally understands his role as a
protector and maintainer of women [Qawwam]-With a good attitude and gentle
treatment, the Muslim husband wins the heart of his wife so that she does not
disobey him in anything
�In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the
Most Merciful' "Men are the protectors and maintainers {qawwamun] of women,
because Allah has given the one more [strength] than the other and because they
support them from their means.." [Quran, Al-Nisa 4:34]
The Prophet
said:
"Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for those
under his care. A ruler is a shepherd; a man is the shepherd of his family; a
woman is the shepherd of her husband's house and children. For each of you is a
shepherd and each of you is responsible for those under his care." [Agreed
upon]
Concluding, the Ideal Muslim husband has a strong and
likeable personality, a noble attitude, tolerance and forgiveness for minor
mistakes, strong adherence to the laws of Allah and determination to apply them
to his family, generosity without being extravagant, and a clear understanding
of an Ideal Muslim home.
The Husband's obligations; Women's
rights:
* He is commanded to be kind to his wife
* He is
commanded to comfort his wife
* He should consort with his wife in an
equitable and kind manner
* He is responsible for full maintenance of
the wife, in a cheerful manner -lodging, clothing, sustenance, general care and
well being, privacy, comfort, and independence, she has the right to be cared by
her husband in accordance to her style of life [to the best of his ability of
course]
* He should recognize that the wife's material rights are not her
only securities. She has rights of moral nature.
* A husband is
commanded to treat his wife with equity, to respect her feelings, and to show
kindness and consideration.
* If he has no love or sympathy for her. She has
the right to demand freedom from the marital bond, and no one may stand in her
way.
"Live with your wives in a good manner. If you dislike them
in any manner, it may be that you dislike something in which Allah has placed
much good for you." Surah 4 - Ayah 19
Sources:
*
The Ideal Muslim By: Muhammad Ali-al-Hashimi
*Islam in Focus By:
Hammudah 'Abd al 'Ati
