Bismillaah, wal-hamdulilaah, was-salaatu was-salaamu 'alaa rasoolillaah,
Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatuallahi wa barakatuhu
http://iskandrani.wordpress.com/2009/10/14/advice-on-dealing-with-family/
“…And I want to remind you of the saying of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه و
سلم): “The believer who mixes with the people and is patient with the harm they
inflict is better than the believer who doesn’t mix with the people and isn’t
patient with the harm they inflict,” as reported by Ahmad and others from Ibn
‘Umar.
Based on this, what I advise you to do is to be patient with your family and to
withstand their harm and to strive to give them da’wah and try to save them
from the Fire, as in the verse: {“O you who believe! Save yourselves and your
families from a Fire whose fuel is men and stones. It has stern, severe Angels
watching over it who don’t disobey Allah in what He orders them with, and they
do all that they are ordered.”} [at-Tahrim; 6]
And I hope you don’t think of leaving the house and abandoning them. Exhaust
all means of da’wah with them, especially if staying with them will have some
effect on even a few of them.
Beware of starting off in a harsh and extreme way that will turn them off.
Rather, talk to them according to what they understand with wisdom and
kindness, as Allah Said: {“Call to the way of your Lord with wisdom and kind
way of speaking, and discuss with them in the best way.”} [an-Nahl; 125]
And remember the saying of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم): “Give glad
tidings, and do not turn people away,” and: “Indeed, gentleness isn’t found in
something except that it beautifies it, and it isn’t removed from something
except that it ruins it.”
And start with the most important issues, and go in order. Don’t get into
arguments with them over secondary matters while their principles are messed
up. Instead, begin by addressing the principles, and if you happen to come
across problems in secondary issues, tie it to the main principles and don’t
make your enmity with them except when it comes to the basic principle of the
Religion, Tawhid, its nullifiers, and what breaks its firm handhold…”
Surah Isra 17 verse 80 Say: "O my Lord! let my entry be by the Gate of Truth
and Honor and likewise my exit by the Gate of Truth and Honor; and grant me
from Thy Presence an authority to aid (me)."
Ameen.
Transliteration :Wa qur rabbi adkhilni mudkhala sidqiw wa akhrijni mukhraja
sidqiw wa-j'al li mil ladunka sulta_nan nasira_(n).
Al-Tirmidhi HadithHadith 2482 Narrated by AbuHurayrah (May Allah be pleased
with him)
Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) used to say, " O Allah, grant me benefit
in what Thou hast taught me, teach me what will benefit me, and increase my
knowledge. Praise be to Allah in all circumstances. I seek refuge in Allah from
the state of those who go to Hell."
Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah transmitted it, Tirmidhi saying this is a tradition
whose isnad is gharib.
Transliteration:an Abi Hurairah (radiya Allahu anhu) qaal:
qaala Rasul Allah (salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam): "Allahumma infa'ni bima
'allamtani, wa allimni maa yanfa'oni wa zidni 'ilman, alhamdulillahi alaa kolli
haal, wa a'odtho billahi min haali ahlil naar."
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