Hi Roman, I see. Thanks for your guidance and help throughout all the I2NSF YANG and Applicability documents.
Best Regards, Paul 2023년 5월 23일 (화) 오후 10:14, Roman Danyliw <r...@cert.org>님이 작성: > Hi Paul! > > > > Lars has updated his ballot to clear the DISCUSS on this document. > > > > The action now rests with me to review that all of the relevant COMMENTs > from the IESG have been addressed. > > > > Roman > > > > *From:* Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong <jaehoon.p...@gmail.com> > *Sent:* Tuesday, May 23, 2023 5:29 AM > *To:* Lars Eggert <l...@eggert.org> > *Cc:* Linda Dunbar <linda.dun...@futurewei.com>; Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong < > jaehoon.p...@gmail.com>; Roman Danyliw <r...@cert.org>; The IESG < > i...@ietf.org>; Yoav Nir <ynir.i...@gmail.com>; i2nsf@ietf.org; > skku-iotlab-members <skku-iotlab-memb...@googlegroups.com> > *Subject:* Re: [I2nsf] Lars Eggert's Discuss on > draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-27: (with DISCUSS and COMMENT) > > > > Hi Lars, > > I have addressed your further comments on the revision. > > Could you take a couple of minutes to take action on this revision > according to your comments? > > *https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-31 > <https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-31>* > > > > Thanks. > > > > Best Regards, > > Paul > > > > > > 2023년 5월 17일 (수) 오후 11:06, Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong <jaehoon.p...@gmail.com> > 님이 작성: > > Lars, > > Could you take action on this revision according to your comments? > > > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-31 > > > > Thanks in advance. > > > > Best Regards, > > Paul > > > > > > On Mon, May 15, 2023 at 10:40 PM Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong < > jaehoon.p...@gmail.com> wrote: > > Hi Lars, > > I have reflected your comments on the revision of I2NSF Consumer-Facing > Interface YANG Data Model Draft: > > > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-31 > > > > I put my answers below with the prefix of [PAUL]. > > > > On Mon, May 15, 2023 at 6:50 PM Lars Eggert <l...@eggert.org> wrote: > > Hi, > > > > the text in Section 4.4 still talks about hostnames. > > => [PAUL] hostnames are removed for the URL-Group object. > > > > The example in Section 7 still doesn't use an RFC5737 example address. > > => This version uses only three IPv4 documentation address blocks such as > > 192.0.2.0/24, 198.51.100.0/24, and 203.0.113.0/24. > > If there are non-documentation addresses in this draft, please let > me know. > > > > Thanks a lot for the good feedback. > > > > Best Regards, > > Paul > > > > > > Thanks, > > Lars > > > > On 11. May 2023, at 16:30, Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong <jaehoon.p...@gmail.com> > wrote: > > > > Lars, > > Even though you are very busy, please take a look at the revision and take > action on our Consumer-Facing Interface Data Model draft: > > > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm/ > > > > This draft is the last I2NSF draft to be standardized. > > > > Thanks in advance. > > > > Best Regards, > > Paul > > > > > > On Tue, May 9, 2023 at 5:27 PM Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong < > jaehoon.p...@gmail.com> wrote: > > Hi Lars, > > Let me remind you of your action on this draft: > > > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm/ > > > > We authors believe that we addressed your comments as much as possible. > > > > I hope this draft will move forward through your review and lifting up > your block. > > > > Thanks. > > > > Best Regards, > > Paul > > > > > > On Fri, Apr 21, 2023 at 9:45 PM Mr. Jaehoon Paul Jeong < > jaehoon.p...@gmail.com> wrote: > > Hi Lars, > I sincerely appreciate your comment to improve our Consumer-Facing > Interface YANG Data Model. > > I have addressed your comments with the following revision: > > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-28 > > Also, two more revisions have been posted to address other comments from > other ADs. > > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-29 > > > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm- > <https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-29> > 30 > > > I attach the revision letters. > > If you have further questions and comments, please let me know. > > Thanks. > > Best Regards, > Paul > > > > > > On Wed, Apr 12, 2023 at 6:43 PM Lars Eggert via Datatracker < > nore...@ietf.org> wrote: > > Lars Eggert has entered the following ballot position for > draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-27: Discuss > > When responding, please keep the subject line intact and reply to all > email addresses included in the To and CC lines. (Feel free to cut this > introductory paragraph, however.) > > > Please refer to > https://www.ietf.org/about/groups/iesg/statements/handling-ballot-positions/ > for more information about how to handle DISCUSS and COMMENT positions. > > > The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here: > > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm/ > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > DISCUSS: > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > # GEN AD review of draft-ietf-i2nsf-consumer-facing-interface-dm-27 > > CC @larseggert > > Thanks to Roni Even for the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) review > (https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/PrQuAtGM5yKx1cs4Upt2cRel9IA > ). > > ## Discuss > > ### Section 4.4, paragraph 3 > ``` > URL: This field represents the URL or hostname. > ``` > Not a YANG expert, but I thought an inet:uri had to be an actual URI and > hence > cannot simply be a hostname string? > > ### Section 7.1, paragraph 7 > ``` > 3. The "https://www.sns-example1.com/"; and "https://www.sns- > example2.com/" URLs are labeled as "sns-websites". > > 4. The "sip:al...@atlanta.com", "sip:bob@203.0.113.15", and > "sip:ca...@chicago.com" SIP identities are labeled as "malicious- > id". > ``` > Use actual RFC2606 example domain names and RFC5737 example IP addresses. > Also in the XML in Figure 19 of course. > > ### Section 10.1, paragraph 43 > ``` > [MISPCORE] Dulaunoy, A. and A. Iklody, "MISP Core", > commit 051e33b6711a660faf81733d825f1015aa0d301b, February > 2022, <https://github.com/MISP/misp- > rfc/blob/051e33b6711a660faf81733d825f1015aa0d301b/misp- > core-format/raw.md.html>. > > [OPENIOC] Gibb, W., "OpenIOC 1.1 DRAFT", > commit d42a8777708e171f8bdd3c2c9f8590c83488285d, August > 2013, <https://github.com/fireeye/OpenIOC_1.1/blob/ > d42a8777708e171f8bdd3c2c9f8590c83488285d/schemas/ioc.xsd>. > ``` > For discussion in the IESG. I don't think GitHub commits are appropriate > normative references. > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > COMMENT: > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > ## Comments > > ### DOWNREFs > > Possible DOWNREF from this Standards Track doc to `[OPENIOC]`. If so, the > IESG > needs to approve it. > > Possible DOWNREF from this Standards Track doc to `[MISPCORE]`. If so, the > IESG > needs to approve it. > > ### Inclusive language > > Found terminology that should be reviewed for inclusivity; see > https://www.rfc-editor.org/part2/#inclusive_language for background and > more > guidance: > > * Term `traditional`; alternatives might be `classic`, `classical`, > `common`, > `conventional`, `customary`, `fixed`, `habitual`, `historic`, > `long-established`, `popular`, `prescribed`, `regular`, `rooted`, > `time-honored`, `universal`, `widely used`, `widespread` > > ## Nits > > All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may > choose to > address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by > automated tools (via https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool), so > there > will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what > you > did with these suggestions. > > ### Typos > > #### Section 6.1, paragraph 99 > ``` > - for an IP address, such as IPv4 adress and IPv6 address."; > + for an IP address, such as IPv4 address and IPv6 address."; > + + > ``` > > #### Section 6.1, paragraph 121 > ``` > - category such as SNS sites, game sites, ecommerce > + category such as SNS sites, game sites, e-commerce > + + > ``` > > #### Section 6.1, paragraph 135 > ``` > - gaming sites, ecommerce sites"; > + gaming sites, e-commerce sites"; > + + > ``` > > ### URLs > > These URLs in the document can probably be converted to HTTPS: > > * > http://www.iso.org/iso/home/standards/country_codes/iso-3166-1_decoding_table.htm > * http://www.iso.org/iso/home/standards/country_codes.htm#2012_iso3166-2 > > ### Grammar/style > > #### Section 3.1, paragraph 1 > ``` > sf-capability-data-model]. Case (anti-virus): This field represents the > conf > ^^^^^^^^^^ > ``` > This word is normally spelled as one. > > #### Section 3.2, paragraph 1 > ``` > This information describes a caller id or receiver id in order to prevent > an > ^^ > ``` > This abbreviation for "identification" is spelled all-uppercase. > > #### Section 3.2, paragraph 1 > ``` > on describes a caller id or receiver id in order to prevent any exploits > (or > ^^ > ``` > This abbreviation for "identification" is spelled all-uppercase. > > #### Section 3.2, paragraph 3 > ``` > ow-rate-threshold? uint64 | +--rw anti-virus | | +--rw profile* string | | > +- > ^^^^^^^^^^ > ``` > This word is normally spelled as one. > > #### Section 3.2, paragraph 9 > ``` > he Action object SHALL have following information: Primary-action: This > fiel > ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ > ``` > The article "the" may be missing. > > #### Section 4, paragraph 3 > ``` > , e.g., 'Dublin', 'New York', and 'Sao Paulo'. Range-ipv4-address: This > repre > ^^^^^^^^^ > ``` > Did you mean "São Paulo" (= city in Brazil)? > > #### Section 4.5, paragraph 1 > ``` > is field is not mandatory but recommended to be used as it is helpful for > fut > ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ > ``` > The verb "recommended" is used with the gerund form. > > #### Section 5.1, paragraph 4 > ``` > er-Facing Interface, this document provide examples for security policy > rules > ^^^^^^^ > ``` > The verb "provide" is plural. Did you mean: "provides"? Did you use a verb > instead of a noun? > > #### Section 6.1, paragraph 68 > ``` > nclude 'Dublin', 'New York', and 'Sao Paulo'."; } uses ip-address-info{ > refin > ^^^^^^^^^ > ``` > Did you mean "São Paulo" (= city in Brazil)? > > #### Section 6.1, paragraph 94 > ``` > ck mitigation."; } } } container anti-virus { description "A condition for > an > ^^^^^^^^^^ > ``` > This word is normally spelled as one. > > #### Section 6.1, paragraph 94 > ``` > us { description "A condition for anti-virus"; leaf-list profile { type > strin > ^^^^^^^^^^ > ``` > This word is normally spelled as one. > > #### Section 6.1, paragraph 97 > ``` > hs are filenames/paths to be excluded and relative ones are interpreted as > gl > ^^^^ > ``` > Use a comma before "and" if it connects two independent clauses (unless > they > are closely connected and short). > > #### Section 6.1, paragraph 114 > ``` > ed as a binary to accommodate any kind of a payload type such as HTTP, > HTTPS, > ^^^^^^^^^ > ``` > If "kind" is a classification term, "a" is not necessary. Use "kind of". > (The > phrases "kind of" and "sort of" are informal if they mean "to some > extent".). > > #### Section 6.1, paragraph 114 > ``` > 5 bytes of the payload. This field accept values greater than or equal to > th > ^^^^^^ > ``` > The verb "accept" is plural. Did you mean: "accepts"? Did you use a verb > instead of a noun? > > ## Notes > > This review is in the ["IETF Comments" Markdown format][ICMF], You can use > the > [`ietf-comments` tool][ICT] to automatically convert this review into > individual GitHub issues. Review generated by the [`ietf-reviewtool`][IRT]. > > [ICMF]: https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments/blob/main/format.md > [ICT]: https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments > [IRT]: https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool > > > > _______________________________________________ > I2nsf mailing list > I2nsf@ietf.org > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/i2nsf > > -- > > =========================== > Mr. Jaehoon (Paul) Jeong, Ph.D. > Associate Professor > > Director at SKKU Open Source Software Center > > Department of Computer Science and Engineering > Sungkyunkwan University > Office: +82-31-299-4957 > Email: paulje...@skku.edu, jaehoon.p...@gmail.com > Personal Homepage: http://iotlab.skku.edu/people-jaehoon-jeong.php > <http://cpslab.skku.edu/people-jaehoon-jeong.php> > -- =========================== Mr. Jaehoon (Paul) Jeong, Ph.D. Associate Professor Director at SKKU Open Source Software Center Department of Computer Science and Engineering Sungkyunkwan University Office: +82-31-299-4957 Email: paulje...@skku.edu, jaehoon.p...@gmail.com Personal Homepage: http://iotlab.skku.edu/people-jaehoon-jeong.php <http://cpslab.skku.edu/people-jaehoon-jeong.php>
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